BENEFITING: Humane Animal Rescue
ORGANIZER: Humane Animal Rescue
EVENT: Pittsburgh Marathon 2017
EVENT DATE: May 07, 2017
Do you love critters?
And do you hate cancer?
Are you a fan of people doing questionable things for good causes?
This is the fundraiser you were looking for.
In February, our awesome little striped cat, Mortimer, was ruthlessly mowed down by lymphoma at the stupidly young age of 12.
Perhaps most cruelly, the lymphoma affected his liver which, in turn, affected his appetite. And an awesome little striped cat who never missed a meal (and frequently improvised snacks by stealing bread, turkey breasts, sticks of butter, and spare ribs) was rendered incapable of eating.
There were few things Mortie loved more than food, and running certainly wasn't one of them. So this year, in honor of our lovable little chubster, Leif and I will eat our way through the Pittsburgh Marathon.
The full marathon. 26.2 miles of noshing. For Mortie, and for the critters of Pittsburgh's Animal Rescue Leage.
The rules are simple: we just break the cardinal rule of marathoning ("nothing new on race day!") and eat whatever is available. Does that aid station have Gu? Kelley hates Gu. Kelley will eat the Gu. Unless there are pretzels. If there are pretzels, Kelley will eat those, instead.
Is that the Greyhound rescue giving out orange slices? Mmmmmmm! Yes, please!
People on the street trying to give Leif BBQ? Leif will eat the BBQ. Kelley will eat the BBQ. Both will enjoy, and then immediately regret, the BBQ. We imagine this is how Mortie must have felt after all those sticks of butter, and we will channel his resolve as we eat our way to the finish in support of the amazing, pro-critter work of the Animal Rescue League.
You see, insofar as our hearts are broken (and they are smashed into a million teeny, tiny, somewhat rancid bits that were then ground into the sticky floor of a football stadium bathroom), we want to make sure that countless other people have the opportunity to violently regret the passing of a Greatest Ever Rescue Critter. Because Mortie was awesome, and the healthy years we had with him were awesome, and it's groups like the ARL that ensure erstwhile critters are given the opportunity to be fawned over, loved on, and, yes, eventually snotted over in racking sob-fits when their otherwise enchanting and unfathomably lovely lives come to an entirely too quick end . . . but only after having made many other lives all the more enjoyable.
We want to make sure hearts are broken left and right and well into the future, yo.
Don't make us puke in vain. Please support us and our questionable methodology by donating the the ARL!
Here are some of the ways the ARL will use the funds raised:
- $30 will cover the cost of micro-chipping a cat or dog.
- $50 will provide low-cost spay/neuter services to a family who couldn’t otherwise afford it.
- $100 will provide behavioral training for an animal to help her find a new home more quickly.
- $1,000 will cover the total care for an animal that stays in our shelter for one month.
- Kelley, Leif, Nigel*, Karmann*, Calvin*, and the power vacuum that lymphoma left when it ruthlessly murdered the head of household.
* denotes rescue critter which would not have been saved without the hard work and dedication of shelters and organizations like the Animal Rescue League.