Becoming Ray - A Transgender Story
Organized by: Ray Paulovich
Hi everyone! My name's Ray! Thank you for stopping by to view my Crowdrise! If you'll give me a little bit of your time I will hopefully move you and inspire you!
I am currently 30 years old, living in a somewhat conservative town in Ohio. I originally came out as a Lesbian when I was 18, but that never felt quite right. I always felt awkward being called a lesbian or saying lesbian. I would hear "she" and "her" and not think much of it, because that's what I had heard my whole life. So I just continued on my path of being a lesbian and just thought my uncomfortable feelings would subside. They didn't. They only got worse as I got older. It wasn't until I got ill and had a lot of time "resting" that I really started to understand myself and my body. In 2008 I was diagnosed with a brain condition that causes bouts of blindness in one, and sometimes both eyes, for periods of time that can last from a few hours to a few months. The condition also causes daily bouts of vomiting, intense pain and seizures. I spent most of 2008 in the ICU, mostly waiting for something to help, but partially waiting for what I thought was death that was coming. From 2008-2011 I kept myself a busy as I could between hospital visits with work, however, working became nearly impossible. So in 2011 I quit my job and basically spent the next few years sitting alone in my room. Randomly going blind, throwing up everything inside of me except my organs, and waiting for the day that I would die. I turned to reading and music to try and help me through my darkest hours. Spent the next several years miserable, I had moments where I was alone in the house, went blind and was trapped in my own room with no way out until someone came home hours later to find me clinging to the floor where I had landed in an attempt to make my way around. Some days I laid there for hours. I finally got better. Medicines and doctors and millions of life changes came along and here I am! Alive, moderately well, and happy to be here! I am currently back to work which makes me happy also! However! During the time I was sick, I started to read LGBT forums and blogs and I realized that, that was what I was missing. I was missing the knowledge of what transgender really was. It wasn't until after I found myself well, that I found myself realizing that I was in fact transgender. So I went through years of illness and struggle to find who I truly am, and who I am, is a man!
I am currently five months on HRT (Testosterone) and doing well on it. However, I'm here to ask you all for a bit of help! See, with my medical condition I am still limited to the amount that I can work, so I have the minimum insurance that a person can have, and sadly five months into HRT, I have almost hit my insurance cap. Which means within the next month I will lose all help affording things like Syringes, Testosterone, Doctor office fees, Co-pays, binders and etc, that are a necessity when transitioning. So I am asking anyone who can empathize with me, to help me along with my transition. I am looking to raise $7,000 to help me purchase things needed to help me along with and maintain my transition. That $7,000 with help with medical costs, transportation costs from doctor to doctor, and extras that are needed. (binders, Name change costs, gender change costs, etc) and that $7,000 should help me along for several months until I can save enough to start doing this on my own, but until then, I must ask for help. I don't want to lose myself because I can't afford it. If I lose myself, then the last five months will be just a painful memory that I'll have. Five months of being who I truly was, ripped away due to something as silly as money. I am asking everyone to take a moment to think of what you would feel if you had the life you needed, loved and wanted and then had it taken away because your insurance ran out. I'm asking for any form of help you can give. Think of your donation not as charity, think of it as being a huge part of my life, my transition and my happiness. Think of your donation as a way to help save someone from their own worst dream.
I can't thank you enough for taking time to read this and time to understand empathize with me. I appreciate and love each and every one of you! Thank you again!