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Simon Bogdanov's Fundraiser:

Boom

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BENEFITING: Cats Cats Cats Rescue

Simon Bogdanov

THE STORY:

Best.Random Story.Ever There was a crazy French baker that made an evil muffin, with a penny inside, then he went back in time and gave to George Washington, who broke his wooden teeth on the penny, and had to cut down another cherry tree to make a new pair, the cherry tree fell directly on a faultline, triggering an earthquake that loosened the dirt, so that when, hundreds of years later, a mailman fell through the hole and discovered a lost civilization, and he made the cover of TIME magazine, which was delivered to the doorstep of Gary Coleman, who took it with him to read while he was on security guard duty, distracting him from a thief who stole a pen that had belonged to Richard Nixon, which he sold on eBay to the governor of Alabama, who tried to sign aÂ*newÂ*lawÂ*with it, but it put a big ink blot on the paper, making it look like it said to shave your cats, which made the cats very cold, and a guy made a fortune selling cat sweaters, and he took a trip to Italy where he played golf with the mutant tree frog, and they became best friends and the tree frog wrote a book based off of his life, and it became a bestseller, and then it was made into a movie, and all the tickets were sold in three hours, and a guy tried to get into the theater with a ticket he bought from a scalper, but they arrested him because it was fake, and he was sent to jail where he met a celebrity, who got him a role in a new TV show, which scyrocketed in the ratings, and the theme song gets put into every jukebox, which gets stuck in somebody's head, and they hum it while they're driving, and they accidentally rear-end Donald Trump, which puts him in a bad mood so he fires somebody on The Apprentice for no good reason, and the fired guy starts his own robotics company, but a glitch causes the robots to rebel and now they're going to invade Canada!

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