My precious Bowie-dog has a fleshy tumor on the inguinal crease of her left back leg. The tumor is the size of a small plum, and that is WAY bigger than the grape-size it appeared to be last month. It was almost cute in the beginning, you know,? Like Squidward as a baby. Not anymore. Now the tumor is ugly, red, and angry. It looks like Gollum if Gollum was pulsing with medieval Krabby Patties. When you poke it, it mutters, “My precious…” and fires the help. This Gollum needs to come off. And… And Bowie-dog can’t afford the surgery.