BUTTI BEATS IT
Organized by: Bianca Butti
Holy shit get it out!!
June 23, 2016
No one ever thinks they will be in this position... 'I have cancer.' The big horrible C word. Something you get when you're in the golden years of your life. Something that if you do get it, you try and not let it rip your life apart. Something that reminds you, you are not in control and it will rip apart what ever it wants.
I have breast cancer. Triple positive they call it. I was diagnosed with stage 2, I am lucky I caught it before it spread everywhere and I have my girlfriend Katie Atherton to thank for that (thank you my love).
Its March, 2016 and I am on the eve of my 5th chemo session. After this, one more to go, and then recovery and then surgery and then recovery and then radiation and then recovery and that's not even half of the treatment. Then there is the continuation of a reduced chemo regiment for the rest of the year and then there is tomoxifin (an estrogen modulator) for 5 years with check ups and blood work every 3 months. When this intense medical journey ends - January 2021- I hope to look back on all this with a happy healthy heart.
I am grateful that I am alive.
I am grateful that these medicines have proven, with a high success rate, to keep me alive. I have a long way to go, 65 years or so, I hope.
I am infinity grateful for the love and support from every single person I have ever met along this beautifully epic journey of life.
I love life. I love this life.
Let us cheer and toast to this life and it's beauty and it's spectacles, joy, love, taste and bliss. Let us not forget it's challenges and it's hardships, pitfalls and tears, that heighten the good when it's good.
Right now it's hard. Harder than it's ever been. This is the biggest challenge I have ever encountered. I fight everyday not to be swallowed by it.
Cancer has also proven to be one of my biggest teachers.
I have learned to cry. I have learned deep sorrow. I am brushing the shoulder of the infinite and of the finite. I have experienced the depth of my strength.
I am learning the love of a community, one that was undefined before this adventure. The community I now define as the people I know, the ones who I am blessed to be surrounded by, and all the ones I have met along the way.
Many of you have asked how you can help. Sending good wishes and cards and texts are awesome, thank you, keep them coming - every single one makes me cry and gives me strength.
Another way to help is to donate any amount so I can fight this fight and stop stressing about how I will afford to live for the next year while I cannot work. These funds will contribute to the supplements and therapies necessary to rebuild my strength after the chemo devastates my cells. I am asking for help with the simple things I used to take for granted: Transportation, living expenses, food. These things have become a burden when my energy needs to be focused on healing.
I thought I could do it alone but I cannot.
This is one of the hardest lessons, asking for help.
I need help. Any amount is appreciated.
I am currently responding to the treatment very well and the 7cm tumor is shrinking rapidly.
I feel very fortunate, and very loved. My heart goes out to each and everyone that has thought, wished, or sent support.
Thank you for reading this and thank you in advance for any donation offered. If you'd like to help further please post the link to this fundraiser to Facebook, it would be greatly appreciated.
ALL MY LOVE,
With gratitute to Jessica Davis for helping me organize this fundraiser and taking these beautiful photographs: