Givng a Small town family a Safe and Fresh Start.
Organized by: Lisa Shaw
For anyone who has been here, I am revising this, for I felt that it was unrealistic to expect to get help for such a large amount, so Im changing a few things and going from there. For those just visiting, thanks for reading
I am Leaving all my Pride at the door and Starting this fundraiser, we are needing help to protect our family from a domestic abuse situation, and just needing a Fresh start at life, like everyone deserves. Please take a Moment to read this, its Long but I feel that i need to be honest and explain every detail so you know exactly who we are.
I am A Mother of 4, and a Wife of 17 years. We Live in a very Small town in PA. I Have been a Stay at home mother for the past 18 years. Most people are not that Fortunate to be able to stay at home, but I was, and Even at times it hurt us Financially But I I made things work.
Now We are your Typical Small town Middle Class Family, A Family that does what they can with what they have., My husband works hard , I stay home and take care of everything, House, Kids, Bills, Food, You name it, Im the one that "Fixes" everything and everyone, so No one is bothered or has to worry about anything. So for Middle Class, we are right on the edge of everything, so There isn't a lot of help for people like us, if we needed it. Now I do have Several medical conditions that over the years I went from being Super mom, to not being able to do the things I used to, but I manage..., and it also had prevented me from working, if I needed to. I also have a Special needs child, and again No help if needed, Not eligable for SSI or anything, The only thing that My Child and I was able to get and It took me years of going without, is Help with health care. I went alot of years without health ins. But Im not going to make this about our Health Problems... Over the past 17 years, we have been Financially ok, We are not rich by far, and we are Not Poor ( low income) We just get By, We Manage with what we have. .. Since we are not eligible for any programs, doesn't mean we are rich, we hurt just like everyone else., and I know a lot of you reading this understand exactly what I am saying, Its the middle income that Hurts the most! So over the years, our income was like a Roller Coaster, and so was the economy, so I did what anyone else would do, I did what I had to do to Survive, If that meant paying something late then it did. I always Robbed Peter to pay Paul... we have Typical bills as every person does, Mortgage, Utilities, Car payment. We stay away from credit cards... SO Yes its hurt throughout the years , cause our credit wasn't great, and maybe if we needed a car or something we would have to find other ways to get one. We also Fell into the housing Crisis, and again we were not able to get help, cause of the requirements, So we was left with an adjustable intrest that we had to deal with all the time. So at one Point our credit wasnt bad but wasnt great, and we wanted to use the Equity in our home to consolidate some Bills, we had quite a bit of Equity in the house, it would have Not by far maxed it, It would have taken $900 worth of Payments down to $200. And the Bank turned us down. I was Left in Shock, our credit was good, there was enough there, But still a no, I left in tears..... So Thinking for so long that no matter what we did, good or bad, there would never be anyone out there to help us if we needed, Now let me say we are Very Rural, so theres not many options.
So I decided and knew that you have to sacrifice things, so I sacrificed our credit to Live, cause to us, it didnt matter good or bad no one was going to help us anyways, so I made sure my kids didnt go without.
We have lived in our home for 17 years, its a old 7 bedroom farm house, it has 6 acres, we have Built our home and raised our family here..People would think we had money, but that was by making sure the house looked nice, and clean, and doing little inexpensive things like lanscaping that made us look like we was doing ok. When we was hurting just like everyone else.
We live around Family and Friends, and have and will Help anyone who needs it, without any questions asked, and if it meant going without so someone didn't have to struggle, we did what we could, and we hate asking for help, even if its just something small. We all Know No family is Perfect, and this family was far from perfect, add in Living in a Small town , All Families Fight and Argue, some Just go about their day and others it breaks them. We fell into the Broken Family, then things started to get worse, and we realized all we were doing was Fighting with Family defending our family, well it went beyond Ignoring, and just living our lives,( cause we have them all around us) it got out of hand, we ended up having to Get a Protection from abuse order against 3 of our family members, one who lives right next door. Well things continued to escalate to a point of enough is enough, people dont live this way.
We have decided and have been thinking about it for a while we need to Move, we need to Save our Children's Child hood, they have grown up around an Unstable Family, and watching us constantly defend ourselves For the sake of them.
I wouldnt say I had a Rough child hood, but it was broken, Parent Divorcing, Mother Dealing with health Issues, I had no family around, I have an Older sibling that choose move away to make a better life, so I was taking care of myself at 11 years old and on.. I did have a Best Friend who had a Big Family, and I learned that no matter who fought, at the end of the day they still sat down for dinner. Family Always came first. This is how I wanted my kids to grow up, with a Big Family so they could take that with them when they had a family of their own. Well over the years and the more things went downhill, and seeing my kids Hurt, and upset really took a Toll on them. They only had my mother, who was always there no matter what, never was judgemental, and knew the importance of raising my kids knowing how a family should be. My Mother had past away 3 years ago and it took a toll on my kids, she was the only one that never let them down, Never made them feel like they were 2nd to anyone else, they all deal with her loss Differently, My one son says when he is here alone, he hears "grammy" Talking to him. My Daughter takes her picture where ever she goes so shes always with her, she hears things and there will be times well be out and well see someone who looks just like her, or the car she drove will be right around where we aere. They hurt everyday, but they cope. So Dealing with Us Trying to keep a Family close, and the kids seeing us always defending ourselves, we did make a choice and have stayed away, but it still didnt help the hurt that is still there, its like Living in a House your whole Life That your supposed to have memories, but you Dread even coming home to. That is no life for a Child to be in... So now with the PFA, it has gone to far, We have to Change we have to do something we should have done a long time ago, We have to think of our kids and how badly this is affecting their life. So now we have to Protect ourselves. One of my kids is so paranoid and scared, she wont sleep in her own bed , and she's 14, they barely play outside, they are just not Happy.. So it has come down to Protecting our children, and maybe Saving some of their childhood, also with the safety of all of us.
We feel like we are being punished for someting, all our lives we was brought up to help who we could, and never to ask in return, we have help so many people with no questions asked, one time we unable to pay our bills cause we was making sure a family member was ok, and it turned out everytime we did what we could we always felt completely used at the end, Its hard when you take time out of your life to help others but realize that people took us for granted, and when they didnt need anything anymore, then we wasnt good enough. But you know thats life and we just deal with it, cause we are better than that. I have Been the Rock of the family, I have done what I needed to make sure I gave my kids the best life I could, I have dealth with everything so no one else would be bothered, and it does take a toll on you after a while, I have been strong for so long, that I am left asking where is our break, something has to give. I dont ask for much, I dont need fancy things, we have only owned 1 brand new car in 17 years, we Dont even go on Vacation, cause we cant, up until 3 years ago, I did what I could to plan a 1 day trip with everyone, I am jealous of my friends who are able to take a week and go somewhere. My husband and I never had a Honey moon, We never had time to ourselves. I cant tell you the last time we slept in a bed together that didnt have a child in it. Im not complaing, but we do what we have to, and I know I am not the only Parent who does exactly what we do.
So Now we need to make a Drastic change, and we need to Walk away from the only home we know and Leave all the baggage behind.. and start Fresh....BUT of course its always something. We are now Stuck, we do not owe that much on our home, the bank we have does not budge, does not offer any programs, Nothing, Plus its not Government protected so we cant get help from outside sources. So My plan is to sell the house, used the money to get another one, A friend of ours offered us property cause they know how bad things are.. So now We are basically being put in a situation, No one will help us, given our Credit isn't Perfect, if you asked me 15 years ago if I would ever move, I would tell you No, that we would live here till we died, so when I had to do what I had to for my family, and sacrificed my credit over their lives, I never thought it would be the reason I cant Protect them now. I know the housing world is Strict, I understand there is to much Risk, but I am so frustrated that there isn't even 1 person out there to offer help and not look at us as a bunch of Numbers, we are not Scored or graded, Don't get me wrong, But things happen, and everyone has a Story, everyone is different, there's a difference between mismanaging money and doing it to survive. And yes, Most people Can Fix their Credit and it does take time, But then there's people who are in an emergency situation, or something that prevents them from Fixing their Credit, cause time is not on their side. I Believe that there needs to be More Programs, more Help, More people wanting to help, and to look at the person and the family and the situation. So where does this leave us, well I don't know , I can Call people all day and ask for help and get the Same answer, and I never have asked for help my whole life, But Although we Only owe a Little on our house, If we sell it, and get something, it would never be done in 30 days, time of closing, so I know that we would need to finance a Small amount. SO I wanted to at least get started on the land, and then when the house sold then pick out a house, and move it, now we are sacrificing cause it will be smaller than what we live in now. But getting the funding for that, well I hit a brick wall. a few people mentioned, fundraisers, and things, which I am not that person, My pride gets the best of me, If I borrow something I pay my dues back, I dont know what its like to have someone say Hey how can we help,,,, Not everyone is like us. and in such a Small town where most people are poor or judgmental, If your not Dying then your looked down upon, and you seriously be the talk of the town......
So I Set this Fundraiser up in hopes to get us out of here and to a safe place, If I would raise enough money, only what I need, Then I would Gladly Donate my home to a Family in Need, that is Struggling, or that wishes they could be homeowners and are in our situation, or to Habitat for Humanity..(Now I know I explained our situation and how serious it is, it is only about us, and if someone moved into our house, weather we sell it or donate it, they would be very happy here, the property is very generous.) Then I am going to take the rest and and start a fund for people like us., and Help those in any way I could get a 2nd chance and Not be looked at as a number, but understand that Life happens, and your shouldn't feel Punished for doing what you can for your Family, and when you can get back on track your able to you should be able to get your life back. , and even if its to help people pay off some debts that want to improve their Credit or help with down payment, what ever it takes. Cause no one should feel like we feel now. I am asking for your donation to help us and our kids get back the life we feel was taken from us, For our Well being and for our Safety.<br>
I am Not one to Beg, but I am desperate. I said when I wrote this I would leave all my pride and dignity at the door.
Also It was mentioned to me to start going to big company's and ask for any kind of donation of Building supplies, Lumber, Screws, Wiring, Cement, Wood, Carpet, Drywall, Ect...
Look around for Modular/manufactured homes that are maybe display models, Deeply discounted, Or that One is willing to Donate for a Family of 6, it was suggested to ask some of these big housing dealers or if anyone knows or has connections, if they would donate or sponser a family in need... So at this point desperation of needing to do what I need to do for my family... I know there is people in worse shape than us, people that are dying, Pets, ect...But this is our Desperate attempt to hope that there is still some good people out there to help us out.
.SO anything, If you would like to contact me, if you know someone that will help, or a company that will Donate or anything, please Do. If we have to Build something ourselfs then we are willing to do it. If we could get 1500 people to Donate $50 that would get us roughly $75k, that would be enough if we sold our home to be able to live elsewhere, .
We sit here and talk about waking up in the morning, and sitting outside, and just hearing the peace, and Nature and feeling what it was like to breathe... What it would be like to have More than one tny bathroom for all of us, We are not picky, but we "dream" for something so Little, but so Big for us....