BENEFITING: UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS FOUNDATION
ORGANIZER: UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS FOUNDATION
EVENT DATE: Nov 04, 2012
A short twenty-minute run dumped an onslaught of feelings on me today. I ran for the first time on the east coast after landing post Superstorm Sandy. I’m to run 26.2 miles on Sunday for the 2012 NYC Marathon.
We were supposed to fly into LaGuardia this past Tuesday. But, the airport was underwater and closed. We waited a couple of days to see if the race was still on and headed into Hartford, CT instead.
Two days before the race I’m doing another “easy run” to help me stay focused and ease pre-race jitters. After dodging shingles, dump trucks, fighting wind and the thick tension in the air it appears my run brought more uneasy feelings instead of the happy, runners high I was expecting at this stage in the game.
I feel shame for the excitement I have for still wanting to run through all five boroughs. My pride, feelings of strength and determination want me to see this thing through to the finish.
But what is the finish for me, really?
Five months ago when I started training I believed the finish was in Central Park four hours after I started in Staten Island.
Now, however, I may have already accomplished all I set out to do. I’m just realizing that the race is merely a symbol reminding me that I’ve mastered something really cool.
I’m starting to see that the real award is that I’ve finally arrived after 39 years of life. My family is extremely supportive in everything I set out to do. They’ll follow me near and far just to cheer me on. My friends and coworkers quickly donate money with ease for a diabetes charity in honor of my son Desi. I’m finally in great shape after having kids. Everyone in my life is extremely generous and supportive in so many ways. I am fortunate.
Life is good but shit happens.
I believe that my priorities need to shift in a time of crisis and that I need to adapt willingly for those really in need.
How can I help? Sign me up. I can run another day. My friends and family would expect nothing less.
That’s my finish line. That’s what I’ve really learned.