THIS CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN CLOSED
Organized by: deleted deleted
June 22, 2016
Hi there and thank you for taking a moment to read about our very personal goal to have a baby! First let me tell you a little about us…my name is Jen and my husband’s name is Carlton. We met in San Diego in 2013, fell in love, got engaged after six months of dating and then got married in May 2014. I think being a bit older and wiser (I was 39 and Carlton was 38 when we married) had a lot to do how quickly our relationship progressed! We have been trying to have a baby for the two years that we have been married but with no success.
Carlton is in the Navy and much to our dismay we were told in December of 2014 that we were being transferred to Guam. Yes, GUAM! It’s a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Needless to say, we were not too happy about the prospect at all. Carlton tried to get it changed but had no luck. So we tried to look at it as a three year adventure. I had already started doing various tests to check on my fertility and right before we left San Diego I was diagnosed with a septate uterus. Basically my uterus was pinched in the middle which greatly increases risk of miscarriage and makes it very difficult to become pregnant at all. After moving to Guam, I had an MRI which confirmed the diagnosis of the septate uterus. As a result, my doctor recommended that I have surgery to repair the uterus. She also recommended that we look into IVF. The surgery may improve my chances of becoming pregnant but I am not getting younger so IVF seemed the best option!
In July 2015 I found out that I was pregnant – it was actually right after I had the MRI that I discovered this. I was excited but also fearful since I knew the risk of miscarriage was high. Sure enough, I had a miscarriage over Labor Day weekend and I was about 7 weeks along. The doctor said the miscarriage was most likely because the egg had attached to a portion of the uterus where there wasn’t enough blood flow to sustain the pregnancy. So in October 2015, I had surgery to fix my uterus and it was successful! Yay! There was a slight problem in that the doctor made a tiny perforation in my uterus during the surgery but it was something that would heal fairly quickly. I had to wait six weeks after the surgery to have a saline sonogram done to confirm that the surgery was successful. If you’ve never had one done, do NOT believe them when they tell you it won’t hurt much. HOLY CRAP!! They fill your uterus up with saline to make it expand, then they let the fluid drain out and repeat this a couple times. Yes, the uterus is made to expand, HOWEVER when you are carrying a baby this happens over 9 months! It does not happen in 20 seconds!! It felt like I was being stabbed by ice picks repeatedly!! Thankfully Carlton was there to hold my hand while I squeezed the hell out of his. After it was done I almost passed out and then I vomited. It was NOT a fun day.
Unfortunately, they couldn’t tell from that sonogram if the perforation had healed or not. So I had to wait another six weeks and have it done again. This time I had drugs!! Percocet and valium were my best friends that day. Especially since I had the saline sonogram in the morning and then the doctor decided I should have a hysterosalpingogram in the afternoon. It’s basically the same procedure except they fill your uterus with dye and then take x-rays to get a better picture of the uterus. With my buddies Percocet and valium, it was nothing!!
So after all the uterine torture, Carlton and I decided to try an IUI first because it is much cheaper than IVF and much less invasive. IUI is an intrauterine insemination – think of using a turkey baster to get the sperm closer to the egg. It seemed like such an easy process – how could it not work? And yet, we tried it twice with no luck. So we are moving on to IVF as our last resort for having a baby. Many of you may know that the military does provide assistance with IVF for those couples who qualify. We do qualify but the waiting list for IVF through the military is 18 months! We got onto that list in October but the problem is that the military will not pay for IVF for anyone over the age of 42 and by the time we get through the waiting period, I will be too old (according to the military). So we are having to go to a civilian clinic and pay for the IVF procedure on our own.
To make matters even more stressful, financially, Guam does not have any such clinic. The closest (American) clinic we can go to is in Hawaii. We have been researching clinics over there for the past several months and we have already had a phone consultation with one of the doctors. We have also been having our preliminary testing and lab work done here in Guam and we have been sending the results to the clinic in Hawaii to make the process a bit smoother (and cheaper). Luckily this clinic did allow us to have testing and lab work done here in Guam. Two other clinics I contacted would not think of it. Also the clinic we are planning to use is only requiring us to be in Hawaii for about three weeks for the whole process. Other clinics wanted us there for six weeks! Not only would that be extremely expensive but Carlton is attached to a submarine and their schedule is not very forgiving. We are lucky that he is able to find two to three weeks to come to Hawaii with me for this whole procedure.
I am sure many of you know how expensive IVF can be and that is why we need your help. We have been given an estimate of $22,000. We are not expecting to raise all of that money through this fundraiser but anything we can raise will help offset our costs. Not only will we have the cost of the procedure itself but also the flights to Hawaii, hotel stay, and meals. We are applying for a couple grants for IVF. There are also scholarships available but none of them were available for me – most scholarships I found are specific to an area (city or state) or specific to a clinic (none were in Hawaii). So I am going to apply for the grant and hope that it may come through but even if we do get a grant, it would be a maximum of $10,000. Whatever funds we do not have before we go in for the procedure, we will have to get a loan to cover. We are planing to go to Hawaii in August to do the procedure.
Anything that you can contribute would be greatly appreciated. We very much want to have a baby and I know many would ask if we have considered adoption. We have thought about it but we wanted to exhaust the possibility of having a baby of our own first. Carlton and I have always wanted to have children and I want to experience pregnancy and childbirth. I have a few friends who have had children using the IVF process and I can only hope that we are also successful with it. Thank you, in advance, for your support!