6 years ago when I had my first child I thought I was prepared for motherhood. I was excited to meet my baby girl and I knew everything was going to be perfect. From moment one, nothing went as planned. The hardest part for me was that I felt detached from everything. I didn't feel anything when I first held her, fed her, or took her home. This continued for a while, then the emptiness turned into overwhelming sadness I couldn't get on top of. I felt like the worst mother in the world for not wanting to be with my baby, and talking about it made me only feel worse. Eventually I found a local support group who made me feel less crazy. Through this group I found my village, a part of motherhood that we're sorely missing these days. Because of this village, I've made lifelong friends, my children have made friends, and my post partume periods with my second and third children have gone much more smoothly.
I climb because other moms need a village. I climb because it's ok to not be ok. I climb because we need to talk about these things. Most importantly, I climb for my children, because they need a healthy mom.