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Fly High Angel Baby ♡

Organized by: Amanda Sarasin-Cameron

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On Wednesday October 19 we heard the words no parents ever want to hear. At our routine OB appointment/checkup the Nurse couldn't find the heartbeat. I was rushed for an emergency ultrasound where the worst was confirmed. Bean had stopped growing a couple weeks prior, and the heartbeat was infact gone.. no longer there. Our precious miracle baby "Bean" that I never thought I'd have the chance to grow inside me, that came into our lives and made things brighter. That grew and kicked inside of me for 18 weeks. (Well 16 so they tell me) was gone. Just like that... gone. On Friday October 21. 2016 @8am I was admitted to the birthing unit at RVH. Where the process of labour begun... after a long, sad, angry, bitter day. Baby Bean was born at 5pm with tiny Angel wings. I was rushed to the OR to stop the mass amounts of blood that I was losing in very limited time. It was a very scary time for all of us... leaving no time to process anything. Between the rude, selfish nurse I had that pushed for me to not see or hold my child... and the mass amounts of pain meds the kept giving me.. I didn't get the chance.. the chance at anything. The only memory I have is the Big Cold blue bowl on my washroom counter (in my hospital room) containing my babies remains... that sat there for hours... I never had a social service worker, never had a counsellor, didn't even have a nurse that held any compassion in her heart...I asked her if she could tell me the sex of my baby.. and all she could do was stare at the BOWL with a face full of disgust... her face and nose both scrunched up.... her response was "not really" She asked me If I wanted to see my baby.. before the baby came. I SAID YES. She took that from me by pushing me not to with negative comments and unneeded rushing. As I was taken out of my room... and was being pushed to the OR..I saw the Bowl on the washroom counter STILL.. with my baby still in it. When I returned from recovery the bowl was STILL there.. but my baby was gone.... I was sent home and discharged at 11pm last night. 2 hours after surgery, and 6 hours after giving birth. Today after the drugs wore off etc I called the hospital to inquire about my babies remains... after being transfered four times, I ended up being told that babies born before 20 weeks were sent to the lab and dealt with.... babies born after 20 weeks require to be buried by law.... then she hung up. What is "dealt with"? Can imagine the thoughts I was having?? I didn't give up. I KEPT calling. Until one sweet lady from the lab called back. She has our Bean...Thank goodness! My baby, our baby is found. Safe and sound. I can breath just a little bit more knowing that. The next problem is this: Nothing is covered or partially covered when the baby is under 20weeks. The cheapest cremation is $1550 starting.. And funeral/burial is even more. And an URN is even more... we obviously want to bring our baby home with us in an URN, regardless of the "small" amount of remains.. (something new a few homes have told us) Luckily Adams Funeral Home is Amazing and will be the ones helping us during this time. If you can't donate PLEASE share! Anything helps and it all adds up. We don't want a huge funeral. We simply want a proper goodbye with our baby, and to bring our sweet Angel home, with us. I don't like asking for help. But right now our family really needs it. Theres only so much time and I cant stand the thought of just tossing our sweet Angel baby away.. I just cant. Thanks in advance everyone. Everything is so appreciated and the smallest amounts help. They all add up. Our family would owe you all the world if we could just have this final goodbye. Our daughter Isabella, is 5. She was so excited for this baby. She sang and read to my belly daily.. she hasn't accepted it and won't accept it. She cries, she asks questions, she still asks about ultrasounds and cribs. It hasn't stuck with her yet and it truly hurts me more seeing it. This world is so very unfair... and This final goodbye would really help us all but for her, it'd change her world. Thanks again everyone ♡ Much Love, Amanda & Family xo ♡


Organized by

Amanda Sarasin-Cameron

This is a direct to organizer fundraiser.

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Amanda is still setting up this fundraiser so please check back so you can support Fly High Angel Baby ♡.

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