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Graduation Gift to My Trans Son: FTM Top Surgery

Organized by: Misty Dye

Misty's Photo
Misty's Photo
Misty's Photo
Misty's Photo
Misty's Photo

THE STORY:

My son is a senior in high school this year: maintains a 4.6 GPA, takes all college and honors courses, participates fully in over ten clubs, and has even been accepted into Stanford University. He has been through so much (which I know sounds like a cliche). We enrolled him in a Christian-based school when he was young because of the higher level curriculum and smaller class size, but when he began junior high he was bullied and confused. By eighth grade, he had receded into himself and had fallen into a dark depression. I should have known, but he seemed so happy all of the time that I had no idea. It wasn't until he attempted suicide that we acknowledged that everything wasn't okay with him: a mistake that haunts me to this day. While he was recovering in the hospital, the doctors brought to our attention that this attempt was the product of a long practice of self-harm as they found deep cuts along his inner thighs and chest (where no one would see). Devastated that I had failed so tragically as a parent, I confronted him about why he had done these things. I will never forget the look on his face. He was so sad that he had caused his parents any trouble: instead of worrying about himself, he was worried about us. That was when he told us that for years he had known that he was transgender. He never wanted to tell us because he thought that we would be appalled by the idea (apparently the Christian school we thought so highly of preached more hate than love sadly). When we told him that we loved him and would gladly let him transition into the boy he knew he was inside, he seemed more upset than happy. Why would he be upset about something he had wanted for so long? Money. He knew that the transition would cost our family: new wardrobe, name-change, hormone replacements, etc. After he finished his eighth grade year, we convinced him that he shouldn't worry about our finances because as parents that was our responsibility. So he transitioned. We slowly replaced his clothes using whatever means possible: thrift shops, hand-me-downs, holidays. We also were able to find a small loop hole in our insurance to cover gender therapy and a small portion of the cost of testosterone. As his "sweet sixteen" gift, both his grandparents pitched in to hire a lawyer for a name-change (something that is difficult to get in the conservative area of southern united states). Between founding a social justice club at his new school, running an anti-bullying campaign, volunteering at a suicide prevention center, and keeping up with his grades, he still makes time to have a job that way he can feel like less of a financial burden for his transitioning needs. He pays for his testosterone, needles, binders, clothes, and gas to get to his therapist that is an hour away. He is an amazing child, and for his graduation I want to give him something that he has most certainly earned. Whenever I bring up chest surgery, I can see in his eyes that he wants it so badly (after all, the scars on his chest make it difficult to deny that he hates his breasts). However, he would never even consider bringing it up because of the cost. We are trying desperately to put a little money back each month without his knowledge to pay for the cost, but it won't be enough. I want him to be able to start college as the real him. The only thing holding him back is his chest. He has blessed our lives so much with his intelligence, love, and compassion for others; now it is our turn to bless him. The goal above covers airplane tickets, hotel stay, and the cost of surgery with just a tiny extra for miscellaneous expenses. Any donation helps. Thank you for even taking time out your day to read this. Sincerely, A Loving Mother

$15

 

0% Raised of $10,300 Goal

  • J

    $15

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Organized by

Misty Dye

This is a direct to organizer fundraiser.

Donor Comments

J

J

DONATION: $15

You are amazing parents! I wish mine had been this supportive when I came as FTM. But it warms my heart none-the-less seeing people like you, striving to care for their children and see them happy with themselves. 3 years ago

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