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Help Me Buy the Houston Texans

Organized by: George Cherry

George's Photo

THE STORY:

The entire front office of the Houston Texans franchise is utterly incompetent. We have had the same owner for all fifteen years of our existence, and our current GM - who just received a contract extension (!) - has been in place for ten years. In that time, the franchise has wallowed in mediocrity and has given me no reason to believe they are anywhere near moving into the realm of serious contenders. (Despite all this, I still get my hopes up every year, and wind up a broken, bitter, emotionally exhausted shell of a man each January.)

I am unable to abide this abuse and incompetence any longer. Therefore, I am raising $2.5 Billion to buy the Houston Texans. After buying the team, I will fire all non-player personnel and start fresh. I estimate that I will be able to acquire a majority ownership stake for around $2.1 Billion; the remaining $400 Million will allow me to pay players' salaries and the franchise's operating expenses, until I begin realizing sufficient cash flow from the franchise to maintain the franchise into perpetuity.

The Houston metropolitan area is home to 6 million people. If every one of those donated just $417, we would achieve our goal. Do the right thing, Houston. Help me buy this team. Go Herd.

$220

 

0% Raised of $2,147,483,647 Goal

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  • Avery N. Burns

    $10

  • Pablo

    $10

  • Matthew Kornegay

    $25

  • Kasey, Rob, Robbie, Andy Anderson

    $10

  • G. Douglas Green

    $20

  • Christopher Knop

    $10

  • Steven Toeppich

    $100

  • Ryan R

    $10

  • Blake Newsom

    $25

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Organized by

George Cherry

This is a direct to organizer fundraiser.

Donor Comments

Blake Newsom

Blake Newsom

DONATION: $25

The Dallas Cowboys will always be better, but I admire your enthusiasm. Good luck. 12 months ago

Ryan R

Ryan R

DONATION: $10

After reaching your goal, I would like a plaque with my name in the stadium. Good luck. 12 months ago

Steven Toeppich

Steven Toeppich

DONATION: $100

12 months ago

Christopher Knop

Christopher Knop

DONATION: $10

In Memory of "Luv Ya' Blue/Houston Oilers #1" 12 months ago

G. Douglas Green

G. Douglas Green

DONATION: $20

Keep fighting the good fight, Jorge 12 months ago

Kasey, Rob, Robbie, Andy Anderson

Kasey, Rob, Robbie, Andy Anderson

DONATION: $10

In Memory of the Dumpster fire that is the Texans 12 months ago

Matthew Kornegay

Matthew Kornegay

DONATION: $25

12 months ago

Pablo

Pablo

DONATION: $10

12 months ago

Avery N. Burns

Avery N. Burns

DONATION: $10

12 months ago

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