Help Me Become a Mom
Organized by: Jennifer Zmuda
I have a pretty great life. I have great friends, a job I love, great parents and siblings. But something is missing...I want to be a mom.
I am 35 years old and I have always wanted a family to love. I've been actively dating for someone to share life with for nearly 20 years and have gone on more dates than most. My friends all say I should write a book of dating gone wrong stories. Dates that range from bringing his mom on our first date (we were both in our 30s), to running down all of his medical issues and the meds he's taking for them, and everything in between. I have yet to find my partner in life and have considered it a very real possibility that I never will.
My soul aches to think this means I may not have the complete family I've always wanted or the children I've literally had dreams about. I tried to convince myself that I never wanted kids anyway. They're loud sleep-stealers who eat and poop a lot. On top of which they're expensive! I had almost convinced myself, but one question continued to repeat itself in my head. Would I regret it if I never tried to have children? Everytime an answer would come "yes". I would forever regret not taking part in this miracle. I would regret never allowing my body to create life. I would regret squandering the love I have to give. So, being honest with myself, I do want kids and my time to make this happen is running short. And yes, it makes me sad to think that I'll be doing this without a partner, but I am surrounded by wonderful people who will love this little one and offer us support. One of those wonerful people is my dad, but his health is starting to dwindle. Thinking that my future child might never know him and he them...well it's another sign that there is no time to lose.
Planning and Saving
I've been planning as much as one can plan to make myself financially ready for this. It's been challenging. I have always worked at least 3 jobs at a time. Currently, I have a full-time job working at an arts non-profit, I teach a community recreation program 20 weeks out of the year and I own my own photography business. With all the hard work I was finally able to buy a small house last year. Paying down all the student loans, home loan and life expenses; savings come slowly. From all my research talking to new moms, single moms, master moms and the like the predominant tip has been "don't be afraid to ask for help". Asking for help has never come easy for me. It's not my first response when I hit an obstacle. I don't like thinking that I can't do something on my own. But I'm working on being more open, more vulnerable and I'm taking this step by asking for help.
How Your Gift Will Be Used
Any funds donated will go towards the creation of this future baby, from the IVF procedure (hopefully only one, but I hear it can take a couple tries), to the hospital expenses giving birth, and anything baby related that comes up. IVF can cost on average $4,000 to be successful and my insurance has a $6,000 deductible ($3,000 for me and then another $3,000 for the baby.) I am saving for this on my own and am prepared to financially problem solve wherever possible, but I need help.
By being part of this moment for us you will be part the story. S/he will know the names of everyone who helped and will know that we live in a world with good people in it.