Help a divorced father to rise from the ashes
Organized by: Lawrence Love
After a 20-year marriage, I am now a recently-divorced father of 2. How does that make me special? In truth, it doesn't. Being divorced doesn't make me destitute, nor does it mean that I can no longer make a living. For the most part, I'm the same person I was before the divorce. Thankfully, I have a good head on my shoulders and I've tried my best to not let it break me. I realize that none of this sounds earth-shattering, and my story is probably not unlike countless others who unfortunately find themselves in the same predicament. But that being said, I could really use your help. Why would you want to help me? Honestly, that’s for you to decide. I don’t know if I’m any more deserving than anyone else, but I know that I’ve helped people in the past, and whatever it was that moved me into action, perhaps you’ll do the same for me. All I can do now is tell you my story, and maybe after hearing my story you’ll simply move on and read someone else’s story. Or maybe, you’ll choose to help. Either way, thank you for your time. First and foremost, I am a good person. I never cheated on my wife, though I can't say the same for her. I believe in forgiveness, so I looked past her transgressions and doubled my efforts to fight for our marriage. I looked inside myself and tried to see what I could to get us back on track. I started reading self-help books, marriage books, and we started attending marriage counseling. We made strides in the right direction, but it wasn’t enough. I found out, yet again, that she was cheating on me, and asked her to give us one more try. It worked for a while, but eventually I came to realize that the marriage wasn’t working, we were both unhappy, and that she ultimately wasn’t going to make the necessary effort. I asked her for the divorce and we began planning for the next phase of life. Luckily, we worked well as parents in ways that we no longer worked well as a couple. We put our children first and set aside our differences. In truth, I still cared about her, but knew we were better off as friends. The divorce was amicable and we agreed to that child support would not be necessary. Through a twist of fate, she reunited with an ex-boyfriend (not anyone she cheated with previously). He lived out of state and they talked about the possibility of him moving to where we lived. She was happy, and though it hurt, I was genuinely happy for her. I knew in my heart that because I loved her, it was important to me that she be happy, even if it was not with me. Unfortunately, things did not work out the way they had expected and he was not able to move. She was heartbroken. Without pause, I told her we could all move to where he lived. I knew I had to start over, and that I could do that anywhere. As long as I could still be near my kids, it didn’t matter where we lived. My friends thought I was crazy, but it felt like the right thing to do. After all, I promised to love her till death do us part, and this was my way of showing it, albeit unconventionally. A lot of things happened since then, and I can’t really pinpoint exactly where things went sideways, but long story short, we’re now divorced and I’m paying child support. I’ve never missed a child support payment, and never will. My kids mean the world to me, and I accept that responsibility, regardless of whatever agreements we had, or whether or not she deserves it. Ultimately it is for the kids. Given that a quarter of my salary now goes to child support, on top of the debt that I must now pay off on my own, I struggle month-to-month and I embarrassingly epitomize the cliché of living check-to-check. I’m more responsible with my money, but money is still tight. If I could somehow get out from under the debt, it would make a huge difference in my life. Believe it or not, but if not for the debt, I’d have the means to rebuild my life, re-establish my credit, and do the things I’d always hoped to do with my life. I currently owe a little over $15,000 in credit card debt, paying out roughly $600 a month in credit card bills alone. If I could significantly reduce my credit card debt, I’d be able to put that $600 toward something more meaningful. It would change my life forever, and I assure you that I would not allow myself to be in this position ever again. How can you help? It’s simple. If you decided to help, even if it’s just a small sum, the assistance from you and others like you could help provide the debt relief I’ve been dreaming of. Well, that’s my story. It may not sound like much, but that’s my life, that’s my reality. Thank you for reading this. Thanks for considering me. And whether if you donate or not, thank you for taking the time to listen.