Help a Family in Crisis
Organized by: BuzzGoLife Swank
This is about a family near and dear to my heart. This needs to remain as anonymous as possible due to the nature of their situation. If you have any questions please feel free to reach out to me directly picklejars @ me dot com. Please give what you can. I'll explain the finances Of what we are trying to raise. Remember please, this is for a family of five with medical issues and legal issues who need a place to stay and support to be able to leave this situation, and the mother is disabled with no access to support or money at this point, since her husband has taken all their money and hidden it in separate accounts.
This family is in a situation in which they feel hopeless. The mother has severe lupus and a spinal cord injury (the lupus is severe and has attacked her lungs, heart, and kidneys) and she is disabled (but can't get disability). She can't work due to her injury and pain and frequent hospital stays, so shelters won't take her, as all the local shelters require she work to provide long-term help. She has four kids.
The majority of the abuse is emotional, psychological, and financial. Her husband has hidden all their money and only gives her a small allowance and she has to make account for everything she buys so she can't save and leave. She tried to leave and he found out and withdrew all their money and put it under his name in an unknown account, so she can't touch it or leave.
He has spent the entirety of their marriage tearing her down and never lifting her up, and is doing it to the kids now too. They are all depressed and anxious. Their son is autistic and her husband deliberately pushes his buttons to set him off so he can yell at him. He complains in front of his family how he feels cheated that he didn't get perfect children and especially about his son saving autism. He even said he didn't like him.
He's extremely controlling. He has even withheld sex for years at a time to teach her a lesson (like if he wants her to lose weight after gaining from medication side effects or because she's not obeying). He doesn't see the need to give compliments to her or the kids. He says he shows that he cares by working and supporting the family and just gets angry when anyone tries to get him to be nice. When he's stressed, he takes it out on them and he's a workaholic, so you can imagine. She tries to go in the other room or out of the house when he starts in on her and starts yelling and pushing for a fight, but he'll block her and make her stay, yelling at her until well into the wee morning hours, backing her into a corner or a wall, taking her keys, and towering over her, screaming with rage and belittling her. They dread him coming home from work or waking up, because they never know what mood he will be in. They live in fear.
He insists that she show him respect and give him leadership in all things, even if she doesn't agree, saying they must have a united stance to benefit the family. He basically lets her know she has no say and nothing to contribute. He talks about her behind her back to his family and makes up lies so that they will hate her and support him. He even told lies about her and their situation to her church (with coaching and support from his father) when she tried to reach out to her church when she tried to leave before - the church leaders and friends, in turn, turned their back on her.
He'll act real nice for a while and she'll let her guard down, hoping he's changed, and she'll share things with him, then he'll keep a record of it and use it against her later and threaten her (like when she was depressed).
I could go on and on and I might on a Twitter account or something to help get support if y'all think crowd funding is something helpful and feasible. I want to help her raise enough money to get her and her kids out of that house and provided for, as well as pay for insurance and medical bills for her severe health issues. She will also need financial help with legal fees. She literally has no support from family and they live in a place where she knows almost no one.
She would also like to learn to make something like soaps or lotions to sell at markets, or jewelry, but this takes an investment as well, and she literally is kept from all money. It has to be part-time and very low-impact due to her severe pain and frequent hospital stays, but she wants to contribute and feel like she has some value and worth and be able to pay for her kids activities and college.
Thank you for reading. Please help however you can and share. Thank you again.
She has no money or access to money. I requested an amount I thought would provide her with the money she needs for 1)An attorney and all those fees (judging from how he'll fight and based on similar situations, this could be at least $30,000. 2) She has severe health issues and needs money for insurance and bills and medicine, if not hospital bills (based on what she knows they've paid the past two years, this will be very expensive. 3) she needs to be able to pay for a place to live that will shelter all of them. 4) Basic necessities like food and such until the divorce is final and she can claim disability again hopefully. 5) any money leftover will be donated to The Purple Purse campaign to help others affected by financial abuse.