Help for "Greg" -- A Young Gay Man Thrown Out By His Family
Organized by: Tom Malanga
My friend, Larry Lane, recently told me about a young man, "Greg," he met through a mentoring group he is involved with. Greg is not his real name and is being used to conceal his identity because his father has threatened to kill him for being gay. Larry started a fundraiser of his own and I thought I would try to help with my circle of friends and family through Crowdrise.
When Larry first told me about Greg, he described an educated young man who had a lot going for him, until he came out to his parents and everything was changed. After an attempt at "conversion therapy" failed, he was completed cut off financially and went from a life of privilege and support by his family, to abandoned and penniless.
Here is Greg's story in his own words:
"I grew up in an affluent home; I attended a private High School and had a good life going. However, that all came crashing down in late 2012 when I was in my first year of college. I came home for break in between semesters and my sister outed me for being gay to my parents. Subsequently, my whole world came crashing down. My parents (my Mom and Step-Dad) forced me into conversion therapy to make me straight. When this feeble attempt did not work, I was physically thrown out of my home in the middle of night and completely cut off from my family in every way, physically and financially!
In desperation, I tried to establish somewhat of a relationship with my biological father who has been out of my life since I was 4. In the beginning things were rough, but I knew I had to put the past aside and make the present work so that I could have a future. While becoming a part of my father's life, I remained silent about being gay -- afraid that he too might also reject me and throw me out as my mother and step father did. It was hard for me to pretend to everyone and be someone I was not.
The fact is I fell apart and crashed during the Spring Semester of 2013. When my father finally approached me with, “are you gay?” and “NO SON OF MINE WILL BE GAY.” I had to drop out of college and was scrambling just to survive, to afford housing and I took on multiple jobs in order to eat and pay rent. Emotionally, it all hit me and it all took a major toll on me. It was at the lowest point in my life. My father threatened to have me killed and that if he ever saw me out with a guy in public that it would not be a good day for the both of us. I got myself together and with only a few hundred dollars in my pocket I left to seek a new life.
I made a last family attempt in reaching out to my Uncle and he did bring me into his home. What I did not realize at the time was how he only brought me in to change me and make me straight. Once he came to terms with the fact, that I would remain gay, he too threw me out! I have not spoken or heard from my Mother, Father, Sisters, Uncle or anyone from my family now in over 3 years. I was truly exiled from the family!
My living circumstances have been very challenging and I have been bounced around several times with several living situations and several different jobs. I had to legally request a protective order so that my family cannot find me and so that I would no longer worry and finally be who I’ve always known me to be and to embrace myself in every way without letting anyone else take what has already been taken away.
I will be the first to admit that my life has been rough and traumatizing, but it hasn’t taken away my will power to succeed and be the best that I know I can be. I now have a great mentor who is trying to help me to become that person. You see my dream is to just have a normal life, a stable safe home and to go back, attend and finish college."
Now this is from Larry:
"Will you help me to help him!? Currently, I cannot put his name or show his photo because he has an order of protection from his father who threatened his life for being gay... for being the person he is. It is unimaginable to be a young man with no family whatsoever! Please help me so we can all help him and be his extended family!"