Help spread #PurpleHope and break the cycle of domestic violence!
October 06, 2016
BENEFITING: Hope House, Inc.
Hope House Survivor Story- I am starting on this new journey of writing, as this was my only source of sharing my story about the living hell I was in. This journey is of courage and hope in truly discovering who I am.
I sit here in my cubicle, thankful I am alive today.
I met and fell head over heels, madly in love with him. Kindred spirts we seemed. Two people that had lived nearly half a century not knowing each other and within weeks, we acted like we had known each other all our lives. He swept me off my feet.
After the short dating-honeymoon phase of three months, we found ourselves moving into our new house. I wasn’t even in our new house for 24 hours before the controlling behavior started. He was irritated. He was short tempered like I had not seen before. It started out with calling me names, then turned into telling me what I could wear or who I was allowed to talk to on my phone. The worst was when he came between my family and I. My feelings were hurt and I found myself in tears only to hear him say for the first of many times, “why in the hell are you crying like a little baby.” It only took 36 days into living together that the first physical blow happened. He came home at 4:00am from the bar. He came stumbling in, grabbed me by hair and pulled me out of bed. He wanted to know where his breakfast was. I fought back the tears and seemed to fall into a compliance coma. I agreed with everything he said, because he had never put his hands on me before. My compliance only angered him more. I think he thoroughly enjoyed seeing me cry and begging him to stop. He grabbed me by the neck holding lifting me off the ground. I kicked him so hard he dropped me, only to pick me up and throw me down the stairs. I thought my leg was broken. No it wasn’t broken, but the bruise from my neck down the side of my arm was one of many bruises to come that I wouldn’t be able to hide.
What came next was the beginning of a terrible and horrifying pattern of emotional and physical abuse that lasted a year until one day I got the courage to take the step forward.
I finally had the courage to leave. I left behind a letter, hoping he would change for the next girl he was to meet. Boy was I ever wrong. He [tried] came back with a vengeance.
There were so many times I thought I was going crazy. But I wasn't.
There have been so many tears I have shed. So many times my heart broke only to give you another chance.
I cared for you, loved you, took you back after getting arrested for disorderly conduct, cheating on me, shoving me down the stairs, strangling me, saying horrible things to me.
I felt helpless. I felt like I could barely get through the day at work, only to come home and try to do anything that wouldn’t upset. I wore myself out by convincing myself it wouldn’t get worse, it wouldn’t happen again, that you had a lot of good in you and it was just a rough patch.
I knew the strong person inside of me was there, but I was so scared. Scared of you, scared of taking the next step, scared of what people thought with another failed relationship. But what I fear now is the worst. My life. That is why I am leaving.
If I let you back in, will my family and friends find me with a pillow over my head, dead? Will you actually pull the trigger next time you point a gun at me. No more. Never again.
Weeks went by with no response or contact from him. But one day, there was a knock at the door. I peered out the window to see who was at the door of my new house. Fear struck me for a moment, but thankfully I had a plan in place. And that plan only happened because I spoke up.
My friends and family listened without judgement and an order of protection was in hand soon after. To this day, I am alive because I spoke up. My family and friends spoke up and said, “it isn’t ok.”
It's time to speak up, help other victims of domestic violence escape from the prison they are living in. Nobody should ever fear for their life from somebody they love.
Nobody should ever be abused, and victims should never have to face their abuser alone once they escape. Donating today, will help provide a court advocate so the victim does not have to face the abuser in court by themselves. When trying to escape abuse, many turn to Hope House for shelter. Your donation today will help feed and shelter those escaping an abusive home and in need of refuge.
HOPE HOUSE PURPLE PURSE EVENTS:
- 6th Annual Block Party at 127th & Antioch - Friday, October 14th, 5pm-10pm
- Summit Grill in Lee's Summit - Tuesday, October 18th, 5pm-7pm
- AMC Exclusive Advance Screeing of Keeping Up with the Joneses - Thursday, October 20th, movie begins at 7pm
Hope House's Mission is to break the cycle of domestic violence by providing safe refuge and supportive services that educate and empower those impacted by domestic violence. Hope House will advocate social change that protects and engenders a person's right to live a life free of abuse.
For information about Hope House's Allstate Foundation Purple Purse Campaign, contact Abby Allen (816) 257-9363 or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
TAX CREDIT INFORMATION: The Domestic Violence Shelter Tax Credit Program through the Missouri Department of Social Services allows taxpayers who contribute at least $100 cash to a qualified shelter for domestic violence victims during the taxable year to be eligible for a tax credit equal to 50% of the amount contributed.