I need a new car
Organized by: George Markunas
Hi! My name is George Markunas.
I have a pretty decent job where I make a fairly decent amount of money. The thing is I'm driving a 1996 Lincoln, and it's about to crap the bed.
I know most people would either buy a second hand car that fits their budget, or get financing for a new car, but I want to see how many people will donate so I can get a new car. I mean what the hell right?
Look, if people ask for donations because they've been accused of bigotry, or because their Christian values of hatred and discrimination have been offended, then I figure there are probably some people out there who will kick in a few bucks to help a regular guy who isn't a bigot get a decent car.
I'm not expecting much, maybe 5 bucks, right? If everybody kicks in 5 bucks then we'll just need, what, 4 thousand people. Really? We can't get 4000 people to kick in 5 bucks? Just to say you did? How cool would that be? It might be a movement, right? Something to talk about at work, right?
"Hey, did you kick in 5 bucks to that guy who needs a car? Yeah? Me too! Some shit eh? Hope he gets his car." Then someone else hears you, "What? Some guy is asking for donations for a new car? Seriously? Hell I'll kick in a few bucks." There could be competitions between offices, or even towns. Can't you see it? Saugerties has raised $1300 toward George Markunas' car!!! It'll be like Forrest Gump!! It could become more popular than Game of Thrones!
You might think this is a joke, but it isn't. Look, I even have a cat. Two actually, but one is old and sick. No, really. I have four dogs. Who can get a new car when you have four dogs to feed. Have you been to Pet Smart lately?
And I just quit smoking! Isn't that worth a few sheckles? Do you realize how hard that shit was? So there it is. I'm not a bigot. My sensitive christian values haven't been offended. I'll sell a gay pizza any day of the week. I'll cut your hair, too, I don't care what gender you are. I don't care what bathroom you use. I just want a new car. I never owned a new car, and I'm no youngster. So, whatever you can kick in. Let's see how far this goes. I'll post pictures of my car if you want. I have no pride. ;)