Investing In Sage Is A Wise Idea
Organized by: Sage Viniconis
April 04, 2016
I'm need of a helping hand that will enable me to get my ass out of this area and into a new home; pushing that great reset button on My Life so I can give more, be more, inspire more while being the best human being I can be on this spinning global life of insanity. I need you! Yes you!! If I've ever touched you in a great way be it via inspiration, performance, physical help, fixed your computer, shared a laugh when feeling down, been your muse, defended your honor, helped you feel safe, or just a calming voice when needed or even offered you an unexpected hug, please help me in this time of need.
I'm looking for 1-2 bedroom house WITH a secured garage/dry basement or even a possible loft space in Tacoma. It will require a few moving trucks for my possessions to travel over 80 miles away from Hoquiam along with the other part of my life stored in Seattle. Then there's the fuel for the vehicles, first/last/deposit plus establishing utilities for my new home (my credit report is actually great) while also allowing me a small buffer in order to find steady work. I've cared to become a paraeducator for awhile also seriously considering going back to school for education in becoming a youth risk counselor.
My Mom was moved out of her house on March 6th because her number for low income housing came up in the greater Seattle area. I've spent over 4 intensive years helping to get her health to a level where such a move would ever become possible without ever being monetarily compensated for my time and efforts. On her behalf I've advocated physical therapy, new glasses, switching care agencies and doctors when signs of inferior care appeared, dealt with her appendectomy, assisted prep for her colonoscopy surgery plus aftercare, correlated with new caseworkers, Adult Protective Services, facilitated neurology and cardiology appointments with testing, helped eliminate excessive prescribed medications, dietary changes, endless guidance, rotation and training of hired caregivers to help strive for her having a healthier way of living and well being.
It took a lot of work and we succeeded in doing it while amazing doctors on how far we've come in getting her to the current level of health she has reached! Together we have jumped over serious hurdles but this race is not over yet, because honestly it's more like a triathlon that requires serious endurance for all parties involved.
THE DEEPER STORY
I've always been known to be an honest man, dependable in times of need, one who's generally always able to help another person out if it is within my means without question. My old partner in clown once said, "Sage, you give so much to charity I'm afraid one day your life will become one." Well damn if she wasn't correct. So here I am typing this to all of you in hopes that perhaps my community will find it within their hearts to help me in a desperate time of need. I've been very transparent on what has transpired in my life in dealing with my Mother's health via social media and if you've missed it and haven't a real clue, well then please strap your spiritual harnesses in as I'm about to take you on a condensed journey of my life of the past six years.
I'm a bastard son and many of my friends don't like it when I use that word in describing myself, but it's certainly the correct terminology. I was also a hyperactive ADHD kid that would drive most parents absolutely crazy, but not my Mom. My Mother was smart, proactive and caring. When diagnosed in the early 70's doctors wanted to put me on a drug called Ritalin. My mother asked them many questions, the best one being, "What will happen to my son when he goes through puberty while on this drug?" They had no answers. She asked what I thought and being the small child that I was, I had no choice but to trust her. She accepted their idea and off we went.
As we zoomed down the Las Vegas strip, I recall bugging her about my pill. I was insane about it! "Where's my pill Mom? I want my pill! Pill! Pill! Pill! Pill! Pill!!" We drove right up in front of a building and she said to me, "Sage, I'm afraid to give you what is inside this bottle because of the addiction you may have afterwards from it, but I will sell it to my friends in order to fund what's inside this store!" We walked into an art supply building. BOOM!!! My world changed and I become immersed with art in all of it's forms.
To her, my life has been nothing but a trial and tribulation of artistic merit. A wonderful benefactor of art in Seattle once said this about me, "It's best not to ask Sage what type of art he does but what type of art he does not do."
Six years ago after an artist retreat, I returned to discover a new bed my lover purchased for us with fresh sheets, blankets and pillows for our comfort, yet something wasn't feeling right. The next three days I remained awake and was unable to sleep in our new nest and this is what followed. I didn't know why I couldn't sleep and was stricken with insomnia confusing my lover, we were both concerned for there was no logical reasoning as to why my body was acting this way. Upon the third morning when she awoke I said to her, "I have to head south!" Not knowing why or where I was going besides this particular direction and that my soul was being beckoned. Confused by it all we talked and bounced questions about while my Mother rang my phone amid our discussion and I ended up realizing that I needed to visit my Mom as she was indeed living southwest of Seattle. She had begged for my siblings to come down and help her, or even me, but we were all living our lives doing our own things.
Most people who know me always remember my Mother for being a spitfire, an anomalous pillar of kookiness, a creative soul and marvelous cook, or simply a great woman.
After the death of her last parent my Mother began having repeated strokes. Not one or two, but mother fucking multitudes of them. Being "pulled" by the Universe I headed out to visit my Mother checking on her well being. Her house, after many years of renting to people with chemical addictions had become a hoarders mess and when I entered her home she was ecstatic to see me. Those strokes had caused a major amount of hallucinations and documented delusions. When I arrived, her hair looked like the bride of Frankenstein and she immediately asked if I was real. Happy to see me after months of pleading with my siblings and myself to come help her I gave her a pack of cigarettes, cracked a beer with her and we laughed for a moment....a moment that became much more than I'd ever expect to unfold.
Two years of being incontinent while sleeping upon a couch created a nightmare not many would care to endure. The center of the couch had decomposed to stripped wires and springs which she covered with scraps of wood, Styrofoam and blankets that she layered it with enabling her to sleep upon it. I found myself appalled and questioning how did all of her children allow this to get so far out of control? I called a buddy from Tacoma, I asked that he bring a chop saw, gloves and respirators because we had a major problem to deal with at my Mom's house. I laugh now because he'd asked me, "Sage, do we have to get rid of a body?" I informed him that was not of that case, but the fact he was willing to help me without knowing to that point was absolutely amazing. He arrived and we did it, we cut that horrid disgusting sofa apart into pieces and removed it from her home. Under it I found 2 black widows and their nests, a petrified rat carcass and other gross items. It's a fucking nightmare that I will NEVER care to live again. She'd previously informed me how the state coerced her into signing her home away to receive the care she was receiving and about the piece of shit caretaker that was attempting to manipulate her into all kinds of unscrupulous situations that caregivers with any integrity would never do. Amongst the hoarded debris rat feces was scattered everywhere because of a serious infestation of large Norwegian wharf rats. With the help of my friend we cleaned the house, hauled the couch away along with other junk that we could fit into the back of his Toyota pickup and set her up with a proper bed in her living room.
Her caretaker reported these changes to her state caseworker who called the next day and my Mother passed me the phone saying;"It's for you!" The caseworker said, "Hi Sage, my name is Amy and I'm here to help your Mom and learned you've made major changes within in her home recently, can I meet with you at your Mother's house?" Of course I said yes and she came over that day. Amy was an awesome caseworker and this is what happened when she arrived.
Amy: Wow Sage, you have made some serious changes in your Mother's house.
Amy: What can we do to make things better for your Mom?
Me: She needs a dumpster like the kind behind a large restaurant.
Amy: How much do those cost?
Me: I have no idea but she needs one.
Amy: If we can get her something like that what can you do?
Me: I can't financially afford to pay for something like that at this time but I do have a strong spirit, body and mind with a flexible schedule and can put the labor in to clean this mess.
During this time, my Mother was sitting upon her new bed across from me looking into my eyes and I began to cry. As my tears flowed and we peered deep into each others soul she began to cry as well.... Amy was confused, asking my Mom what just happened and my Mother shrugged pointing at me and this my friends is the conversation with my Mother.
Me: Mom, your children have failed you.
*Mom frowns and cries harder*
Me: I cannot speak for the rest of your kids but I need you to know that I truly apologize for this. You do not deserve this. You've raised 5 children practically alone and we have all our fingers, toes, eyes and whatnot. Each of us is pretty successful in the endeavors we've pursued. You deserve a life far better than this and I'm so sorry.
*The tears are heavily flowing*
Me: I need you to answer a few things for me, will you do that? *She nods yes*
Me: Do you trust me?
*She smiles and nods yes*
Me: Do you believe in me?
*She nods yes*
Me: Do you understand that I will do everything within my abilities to help fix all these wrongs that have been going on for so long? *She nods yes and smiles*
Me: Do you love me? *More tears and she nods in acceptance*
Me: Then THAT is all you need to know.
Well the next thing we know Amy is in tears too and within less than 3 months in the year of 2011, Adult Protective Services allocated the money in dropping a 2 ton dumpster off at her home...that I single-handedly filled within 5 weeks to 90% of its capacity!
Not one of my siblings came down to assist me when asked, nobody was paying me for all this work and I watched my bank account continue to drop because she was behind in bills as well. But I did it, I did it because her life NEEDED the change and because her life is worth it. Eventually I caught that immoral caretaker stealing from her, fired her, then helped my Mom interview new caregivers eventually finding a compassionate one to fill that slot.
I killed over 20 rats trying to infiltrate her home without any knowledge that it would one day be my home as well. She had already been storing 2/3rds of my life in her home already since 2007 when the economy tanked while I was attempting to purchase a home of my own but realized then that it was gonna be a nightmare. During those years she was renting rooms out in order to help pay her bills and mortgage, a few of her renters had plundered and pillaged my possessions stored there several times before I had returned to help her.
Directly after terminating the pest problem and packing that dumpster she had an episode in which she didn't know who I was. It was devastating for me but also pushed me into determining what was going on with her.
I spent endless hours researching strokes along with any possible drug she'd ever taken in her life and found that she had all the symptoms of either vascular dementia or possibly Alzheimer's. With the help of a new caregiver and her neurologist, my suspicions were deemed to be correct. The state caseworkers and their doctors all had no damn idea, they just pressed forward pushing more drugs onto her.
Once her diagnosis was confirmed I researched vascular dementia to learn how it can be controlled to an extent while, something like Alzheimer's is a harsh dark downward spiral. So what the fuck is this all about? Why the hell am I posting this?
Well in 2012 things took a change for me, I became ill from black mold poisoning that infected my girlfriend's house. I detoxed for three months down at my Mother's house while my lover and her son moved out of that place. Upon returning to Seattle for gigs my girlfriend decides to inform me over lunch that she "accidentally" had sex with some dude while in Detroit, I knew then that our time was done so I headed back to my Mother's house.
For 2 years straight, after my gal and I spit ways, I did my best to reintegrate back into Seattle but the skyrocketing rent increases of housing forced me out and I was unable to find someone I could share a place with. So these past 4 years as I've resided with my Mother while also taking on major roles in her life. I've been her caregiver, therapist. life coach, chef, internal security, caregiver trainer, financial adviser, durable medical power of attorney and most importantly, an advocate for her rights as a citizen and functional human being.
Did I mention also having to deal with the darkest depths of dementia and being her personal scratching post with emotional claws that strike deeper that Wolverine from the X-Men.
Her strokes shifted to seizures and thanks to the kindness of a friend donating CBD oil they became controlled and basically subsided. While away for work and traveling 120 miles one direction via mass transit and then back again she'd slip on paying bills here and there. I gave up asking my siblings for help in those financial situations and would always make up the difference myself eventually depleting my savings over the years.
This has NOT been a vacation on my life, this has been so god damned hard on me and it breaks my pride to plead to you that I need help in the most massive ways. Anyone who knows me will admit I am the most honest, caring, charity giving person they know to the point where my life has become a charity itself. I must declare that the county I'm in is the most depressed area in all of Washington state, I've applied for several jobs yet always seem to get the "over qualified" bullshit.
I am not afraid to work, heck there's a popular concert series that happens every year on Capitol Hill in Seattle in which I've worked over 8 of these past years. Last year alone I worked 46+ hours in 3 days, yes that is correct, and most people strive for that in one week, but not me! This has been so god damned hard on me, and it breaks my pride pleading to you that I need help in the most massive ways.
I'm an artist and need to create. I asked my Mother, "In the last 4 years have you ever seen me creatively do anything besides fix a meal or solve a problem?" She sheepishly replied no and I replied, "Mom....you raised a child who's independent and NEEDS to fulfill his creative life" and she agreed.
The transitions are massive on her part. It's not been easy one fucking bit....but we've done it. I'd like to say that I can turn to my family but honestly as I said before, over these years it's been a horrible train wreck with slight alleviation from some siblings. But Mom's spreading her wings into a new way of living and I am ecstatic for her, but for me all I can ask is please don't allow this to turn into a horrible caregiver depression situation. I've hit that wall 2 times and contemplated the quick way out...but my grandpa taught me there's always a stronger way out.
My ex-partner in performance said, "Sage, you've given so much to all communities that your life has become a charity in itself." And she can never be so much right!
Will you be a helping hand that will enable me to get my ass out of here and into a new home so that I may push that great reset button on my life?
My goal is humble enough and it will allow me the opportunity to get my life back together, become certified as a paraeducator, enable me to function artistically again, provide me the chance of moving to an area with more resources than I have now. It will help me get my life off hold so I can move forward, touch more hearts and truly live again!
All you need to do is invest in me, because many will admit I am worth it.