BENEFITING: 3 LITTLE BIRDS 4 LIFE
I worked for the government and they do not pay into state disability. Chemo worked as it should. I went into remission and I was excited for my new life with my little girl. I knew I didn't like my job so I choose to start a business doing alternative therapy and continue to work my regular job. We were able to move out again and life was great. I appreciated everything so much more. I loved life and knew I was meant to help others.
Then BAM while in Vegas celebrating my friends bachlorette party and celebrating my hair finally being able to be pulled back, I noticed a lump. I tried not to spaz but I had anxiety about it and wasn't feeling very good. I saw my dr and she seemed concerned and sent me of a needle biopsy. I couldn't believe I was doing this again but still had faith this was something else. I received a call saying "No cancer, its benign" what a relief but they still wanted me to come back for another needle biopsy using and ultra sound to make sure they reached the node.
The radiologist performing my biopsy said it did not look viral and did resemble a re occurrence. I was so upset but still had a glimmer of hope he was wrong. Again came back BENIGN. So I met with my surgeon again about the next steps. He gave me the option to watch and wait the lump or go under and get a large chunk of the lump out to rule out all possible cancer. I wanted to be sure and I don't do well with waiting for lumps to grow or not. So that week we did the surgery and he told my mom "it looks like cancer but I wont tell her until we know for sure" I still had hope.
I went back into see my surgeon to take out the drain from my biopsy and I knew something was wrong. Him and his assistant always joke and laugh with me but they were both super serious. After he pulls the drain out I say "Sooo did we get the results" he looks at me and says "It was postive for lymphoma and I spoke with your oncologist and he wants me to put another port in" I couldn't breath all I can say is choice words and the apologizing. I told him "im sorry I need to leave" his assistant looked like she wanted to cry.
My mom was holding back her tears. I ran out and just needed to run outside, I couldn't breath, I panicked and demanded we talk to my oncologist. He saw me and I could tell he and everyone else so shocked i relapsed with the 2 clean biopsies and all, he told me I was stage 4 because it was a relapse. After the week of heart break, I sucked it up and researched and knew my next journey would be a doozy.
Long story short. I was sent to Stanford to see a Bone Marrow transplant specialist and got the scoop. It was pretty crazy. I underwent high dose salvage chemo to get me in remission. These chemotherapy's destroy your bone marrow but it is the only way for a cure to completely kill good and bad cells and then give me back my stem cells after lots and lots of high dose chemo. It was the scariest thing I have ever encountered. I was unable to work during this time and I was also unable to move. I was blessed with friends who did fundraisers to help me pay my rent and bills. I applied for federal disability but I wouldn't get any money for 5 months. I was in the hospital for about a month and was released Feb 2013.