June 12, 2016
Around this time four years ago, I was entering my second trimester of pregnancy and was full of anticipation, excitiment and hope for the arrival of our daughter Ada. My pregnancy was fairly uneventful, I was healthy and so was baby so nothing could have prepared me for what was to come that fall after she was born.
Ada was born on a beautiful, warm Saturday evening at home. We settled in nicely but within a couple days I knew something was wrong. I had just given birth to this beautiful bundle of perfection, and I didn't feel a connection to her at all. She seemed to be a really nice baby, but she wasn't my baby. I first mentioned my feelings to my midwife when Ada was about 4 days old. She wasn't too worried as it was still very early on, and could still be classifed as the "baby blues". I knew it was more than that. I could feel it deep inside me that something was very wrong. As days went on, I became more anxious, and eventually couldn't be alone. I needed constant company, and a plan for each day. Sometimes I would cry all day long, and I felt so ashamed because I was conditioned to think I should be grateful because I had a healthy, thriving baby. The anxiety was debilitating; like nothing I had ever experienced before. I was terrified I would never recover, and I would be that way forever. It wasn't long before I sought out help from my family doctor and a social worker. I realized there wasn't a prize for suffering and knew I couldn't continue on in the desperate, terrifying place I was. With help, I was able to recover and grow to love this new life I had. It was like I was in a constant fog, then the veil was lifted and I could see again. I began to see the beauty in motherhood and in our new family.
With resources through Postpartum Progress, mom's can know they are NOT alone! With proper resources and help we can get better, we can recover and we can be Warrior Mom's!
Postpartum Progress’ Climb Out of the Darkness® is the world’s largest event raising awareness of maternal mental illnesses like postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety & OCD, postpartum PTSD, postpartum psychosis, bipolar/peripartum onset, and pregnancy depression and anxiety. Climb Out of the Darkness is held on or near the longest day of the year annually to help shine the most light on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. The event features mothers and others across the globe joining together to climb mountains and hike trails to represent their symbolic rise out of the darkness of maternal mental illness and into the light of hope and recovery. We can’t wait for Climb Out of the Darkness 2016, to be held Saturday, June 18th. Mark your calendars! Help us shine the light of hope with our words and our advocacy efforts so that our fellow mothers will receive better information and better treatment, and their new families will get off to the healthy and strong start they deserve. If you have questions or would like to lead or join a Climb or become a Climb sponsor, email us at email@example.com.