Lawyer and Custody Evaluator Costs
Organized by: Janelle Carrera
Our family is currently in a legal battle with my husbands ex wife over our oldest son "D". Through the 8 years after their divorce, she has intentionally done her best to destroy our family and stop D from having a relationship with my husband, his siblings, and myself. I won't recount everything, because it's very lengthy, but our previous custodial agreement was written by her, and my husband agreed to it because the two lawyers he saw during the divorce laughed at him. He honestly believed that as a father his relationship was second to the mother. For 8 years we have done everything she has requested, no matter how outlandish, to see D. We had him over 50% of the time until we reduced the child support, in which after that moment she began to with hold him so the payments could increase.
In 2015 my MIL, my husbands mother, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Her name was Barbara, she helped raise dylan and lived less than a mile away from all of us. The last year before our death our family took care of many of her medical needs, and caring for their house and my FIL. Her needs included nutrition through an IV (TPN), administering medications, personal care, and more. This was a difficult time for our family that we cherished because she was so precious to us. During this entire time, D's mother broke the custodial parenting plan and would not allow D to see our family because she forced him to "choose between his parents", even though he has the right to have a relationship with all of us. My husband did not get to see his son and his mother together even before she died. D blood siblings and step siblings that he has been raised with cried night after night begging to see D. It has been particularly difficult for them, as he is the oldest and best big brother they can imagine.
Before my husbands mother had her battle with cancer, D suffered from a very serious mental health dissorder that I would like to keep private for him. His biological mother refused to accept that he had a mental dissorder, and subjected him to doctor after Doctor instead of allowing us to take him to therapy or see a physiologist.
We entered a custodial battle when she sued us for increased amount of child support and medical costs. She also included in the suit that we would see D 0% of the year, increasing the child support as it's based on time we we see D. When we visited a lawyer she informed us that the things she was doing were illegal and harmful and suggested we seek custody of D for his and our children's mental, physical, and emotional well being, as many of the things Ds biological mother has done in the past are crimes of neglect, emotional manipulation, and abuse.
We are suing for custody of D, but would like D to still continue having a relationship with his mother as long as it is a healthy relationship. We believe that D has the right to have a relationship with all the members of his family, and would like the living custody to be switched to us, and both parents see him 50/50. We believe a structured visitation time will help him ultimately, and hope the court feels the same.
During the hearings, Ds mom wanted him involved and put on the stand to "choose between his two parents/families", we asked as a counter that a custodial evaluation be held because putting him on the stand for her benefit is harmful to his health, as her forcing him to choose induced his mental condition. This will allow D and all our children to be interviewed in the privacy and comfort of our own home, where they will not be under stress or easily manipulated, as the evaluation last several weeks with the evaluator in each of our homes informally. This will ultimately determine which house hold will be responsible for custody.
We've already paid $5,000 for the lawyer retainer, with the multiple hearings and back and forth conversations and emails over the last several months. The custody evaluator is 3800 dollars alone, and needs to be paid by the end of this month (June 2016), since we requested it the judge ordered we pay for it. Thank you for any contribution you have for the well being of D, our family, children, and the preservation of his relationship with all of his family members.