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Living for Joseph

Organized by: Siqueiros Family

Siqueiros' Photo

Our family
March 04, 2016

This was during Josephs birthday dinner in August when he turned 33 years old. He wasn't sick at this time yet. See More


I'll never forget the day he saved my life 14 years ago. We worked together at a theme park and a little boy didn't feel like following instructions, so off I flew from a Barneys car and got dragged about 30 feet from a dinky car going 7 mph. Not a biggie, I know, but it was scary at the time and boy did it hurt! Then came Joseph in all of his elegent rage. He jumped aboard the small speedster, stopped the car manually, told off the little guy about following directions, and whisked me off to first aid. After that I had to wait to be checked out, bandaged up, write and file reports. It took all evening long. I was in pain with massive rug burn. Joseph stayed with me until the end though. It was a constant thought in my head for the two weeks he layed in a hospital bed, motionlessley fighting for his life. I left when I absolutley had to, stayed up through the night when Iwas told by many to go home and sleep. I refused to leave my husbands side. I stayed by him until the end. In early December 2015, Joseph got sick. A cold or the flu, he didnt think it was a big deal. He kept going to work as a door man/ security for an establishment he cared very much for. His symptoms grew worse, he did more holistic therapies. On January 3rd I had a stroke. I was in the hospital for a week and a half, leaving him tobtake care of our daughter by himself. With the help of friends, he made it through. I returned home and he had to assist me with most simple things, like getting dressed, brushing my hair. He had to do this for our five year old as well. All the while, still working. All the while, still suffering. It was the last week of January, friday the 29th, that I made him go to be seen in Urgent Care. Fight of the century I tell ya! But what healthy 33 year old guy wants to go to the doctor? His lungs looked bad, though they couldn't be sure. He couldn't take more than 5 steps without grasping for a breath. He was rushed to the actual emergency room at St. Vincents Medical Center, in Santa Fe where we live. He was only supossed to be admitted for 2 days to observe his breathing and do a sleep study. By Saturday night, the 30th, he was rushed into the Intensive Care Unit where he had a tracheotemy performed. This improved his breathing. His Co2 levels came down to normal, his oxygen levels went back up. In the next 2 days he was back on his feet, unable to physically talk in person or by phone, but he sent out a text to family and friends with a photo of hself smiling. He put a couple of updates on his facebook page. That Wednesday night when I left he was good. We knew he would get better, no matter how long that took. On Thursday morning, the 4th of February, I cant be certain what happened to him. His levels all starting wigging out. He couldn't calm down. This started a roller coaster of sedation methods that all equated to the same thing: a medically induced coma. Some days hes come to, but would put back under right away. Even asleep his levels would continue to fluctuate dangerously. At one time the head ICU doctor told me that he was the sickest person in the entire hospital. I started being asked about advance directives and wills. Our daughter was refereed to support groups for young children of patients who were coming to the end of their lives. It was a lot to take in and all I could think of was what he wanted, remembering instances where we would bring something like this up and then trying to decipher between his b.s. wishes and his actual wishes. And when that got to be too much, all I could focus on was what we were supossed to do that next weekend. Our summer trips we planned. The camping and fishing he wanted to do with our daughter. How he was supossed to figure out how to make it to her recitals, kinder graduation and girl scout petal earning ceremonies. In May we were to have our fancy family portrait done. So many plans he made. So many plans. But in the early morning hours of February13th, the day before Valentines Day and just 3 days after my birthday, I placed my ear to his chest. Nothing was working anymore, his body wasnt responding to the efforts they were taking to keep him breathing and living on his own. I waited, timing his staggering breaths with my own as they slowed to a halt. I listened as his heart pumped its last beat. I held my breath, hoping the next to jump start his breath again... but it did not. Now our five year old daughter, Christina, is without her Daddy to do the adventures they had wanted to go on together. I am without my husband that I was to spend eternity with. My daughter and I are also faced with financial difficulties in his absense. They range far and wide, but without him here it is nearly impossible for me to go on with our life as we need it to move forward and heal. Among this growing list, we need to make some trips to honor his final wishes, among them spreading his ashes in the places he had loved or called home throughout his life: Atwater, Madera, Santa Cruz, Santa Fe, & the Cheyenne River Lakota Reservation. Buying memerial benches for his final resting area in Atwater, CA. Making sure his daughter has access to the best things he wanted to teach her himself, among them guitar and swimming lessons. She must be in daycare now, and that was an expense never needed until he went into the hospital. Our rent is an issue now as well. He had put money down on a mobility scooter for me as it is still terribly hard for me to get around on my own, even with wheelchairs, as my body weakend significantly after the stroke in January. Things my insurance won't cover. I still have adjustments I need to make because of my health. I honestly dont know how I have been getting around to do what is needed in my health state. He did so much for us and he wanted to do so much for us still. He was such an amazing man and talented musician, the best daddy in the world and a fantastic loving husband. In a life cut too tragically short, I am determined to show my daughter and the world my husbands greatness. From his act of kindness fourteen and a half years ago to today, he never ceased to amaze me in the kindness, generosity and love he would show to not only friends and family, but people he had never met either. Anything you would want to or could contribute would be amazing. We would be forever grateful and blessed in what you can do to assist my daughter and I.



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Donor Comments


Lydia "Non"Reyes


2 years ago



A tribute to true love, family and the future 2 years ago

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