How did I get here???
My name is Millie and I am a Mom of 3, a runner, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, a lover of books and at times I feel as scattered as the day is long. But, I have an amazing team of friends and family that keep me laughing, and sane, and remind me that I'm a working, running, mom to three kids, and wait...I'm suppose to feel scattered, happily scattered. As a patient once said to me, parenting beyond 2 kids is just controlled chaos. And that's the way I like to think of it. Controlled, fun, chaos....most of the time.
Now that I turned 40 this year, cringe, I've realized that there is just no turning back. There's no waiting. No, I'll do it next year, or when I have more time, or when the kids are older. I have been blessed with two legs to carry me, a healthy body and healthy mind (most of the time), did I say I have 3 kids???, and the ongoing realization that life is profoundly here. It's as if, all the reasons I would not do something, talk myself out of something I wanted to do, but was scared of, has just fallen away. Insert the NYC Marathon 2014. 26.2 miles, jiminey cricket. I never really thought I would or could do it....until I realized I just really wanted to. I was waisting time, thinking of reasons why I shouldn't. And wait, I can run it and have a good reason to (is there EVER a really good reason to run that far??)
Climb Every Mountain
So before, I sound like one of my all time favorites Julie Andrews, "Climb Every Mountain", let me say that marathon training is H.A.R.D. It takes tons of time away from your family, your kids, your people, your tribe. It wears on your body, your mind, and your family. And the music playlists, my gosh...you have never been such a master weaver of tunes. You have to remind yourself CONSTANTLY why you're out there, away from all of those things you hold dear. If I can run for a cause I believe in, it makes it so much easier, and so much harder. And as Glennon Melton says, We can do hard things. So I'm setting out on this hard thing. And I need your help fundraising, and in return I wll give every minute on the run my best for that day, for that mile.
And speaking of hard things....my daughter Caroline has Tourette Syndrome, but it DOES not have her. It is hard on her. It makes her mad. It makes me mad. It makes her siblings mad. Much of the time I think of it as another member of this family. The wild card that you never know how it will show up and behave that day. But every day, my girl shows up. She is amazingly funny, and smart, and resilient, and is fiercely head strong. Tourette's is so much more than tics. In fact, the tics are the least of her symptoms, and my hope is to share our story as time goes on, as I train.
It's More than Tics
She has much underlying anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and attention defecit disorder. Weave those things with a "genius" IQ (she didn't get that from me-don't worry, ha!) and social limitations, and the complexities can be daunting at times. But we're learning all the time. She's teaching us all the time. She is 10 years old now, and has pushed me to turn myself inside and back out. Learning my own limitations, and strengths, and shaping and reshaping how I see the world. I can only hope to somehow impact hers, and not make too many mistakes along the way.
Making the Miles Worth it....
So, because, in truth, mine is not the HARD thing. Mine is the easy thing. The thing that will be over November 3, 2014. After the last runner has come through, the last amazing moment had. After all the the moments that I love to run, to race, creep to a still later that day, Tourette Syndrome continues on. It lives on for Caroline and for the other children and families affected. I want to somehow make the miles worth it, in my small way.
Please consider donating any amount to sponser me in this cause. Your funds will be forwarded directly to the Tourette Syndrome Association for further work in understanding this neurologic syndrome.
I thank you.
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