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My Open Hearted, Open Letter

Organized by: Nicole Meyers

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THE STORY:

My Open Letter To God and The Family I've Never Had:

Lord, you know that the idea to write this comes under great hopelessness and depression. For the past 4 days I've even stressed at the idea of confirming that i need help by begging for it. However, you've reminded me that no one will ever know my pain nor that i am in need of a little boost, without me opening up. As you know, Kaylin is 6 years old now and its been almost 6 full months since I've mustered enough strength to take my baby girl and get us both away from her father. Forgive me Lord but i do not want to dwell on that dark slice of our life at this time. But what i DO want more than anything is to reassure you that I am determined to look toward our future, shower Kay with more love & protection than she could ever ask for, provide her with stability and march us full steam ahead in this cold but beautiful world!

Dear Family,

I hope that you can hear me. And most of all I beg you not to judge me. All that Kay and I have right now is God and each other and that has been everything. But, we are now at a point where we really need some help and all I want in life right now is to not be forced to move 20 steps backward. I am ready to be honest with you and remove my fabulous mask of bullsh**! My relationship with Kaylin's dad was never perfect. In fact, it was the furthest thing from perfection.

All of my smiles were masks. My laughter hid depression. The man who I loved, hated me. And resented our beautiful daughter. Sure he was an expert for putting it on in public. But my baby girl and I have been subjected to the truth. I miss you and i wish that you were here to comfort me. To tell me that it's worth it to keep trying no matter how many times I fail. I have been doing great at rebuilding a life for Kay and I. This past December an amazing friend of mine helped Kay and I in a huge way by subletting us her father's empty apartment. The location is perfect for us considering we don't have a car and her school is in walking distance.

In March I even found myself a new job! Everything really had been starting to look a whole lot brighter and I have been seeing so many possibilities. I am trying so hard but somehow it feels like I'm swimming while someone is under water trying to pull me down! This week I received a very random letter from the management company telling me that we have until Tuesday, May 13th to move out because apparently it is illegal for my friend's dad to rent to us as subletting is prohibited in their properties. I cannot afford the deposit and first month's rent for a new apartment and although i don't have anything to offer you besides my love and sincere gratitude, I am writing this while praying that you will help me. Please help me!

I know that you owe me nothing, i know that you have your own problems, but i have no one else. Any amount that you can afford to offer is worth everything to us right now.

Thank your Lord for the miracles that i don't even know about but you are already so graciously working for my daughter and I. Lord i also pray that anyone who helps me is blessed 100 fold for their love and generosity. I love you, i appreciate you and I thank you for you favor. Thank you for hearing my prayer. Amen

With Love,

Nicole & Kaylin

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