Not Without a Fight
Organized by: Brenda Barrington
My Story. A co-worker and who has recently become a caring friend recommended that I use this site in hopes of getting what he feels I deserve. You see, at 29 years of marriage, my husband is divorcing me. I will try to fill you in on the 25 years in a nutshell. Here is my story. In December 1997 we married. In May of 2014 my husband bought himself a brand new truck, packed it up and moved across country to be with is family. I was told by him that he did not want me to join him. We have two children, a son age 25 (almost 26) and a daughter who is 23. We had what seemed (from the outside) a wonderful family. Both of the children were very popular, well known and well liked as well as athletic. They both received athletic scholarships to college. My son, whom is the oldest, set off for college, found his freedom and also found drugs. His story is one in it's own but let's just say that since his Dad left his drug abuse worsened. He is addicted to heroin and is currently incarcerated awaiting a trial for armed robbery. My daughter is still trying to figure out her life and is set to start an internship program next month. My husband has had health issues the whole time we've been married. I nursed him through them all. The most recent that I witnessed was cancer of the liver. The tumor was removed and as far as I know he is cancer free. He, at this moment is recovering from his second knee replacement surgery. When he left, I had no job and had one week of unemployment benefits left. I had an interview scheduled for the day he left. I wasn't going to go but my daughter (who has been my rock) encouraged me to go. I went, got the job and am there to this day. He left with a promise to send me money monthly, the amount promised was soon lowered, then he said he would send it once he got settled. I received a total of about $300 since he left. Since then, I've lost my Dad, my home, my son (via drugs) and the car that was given to me by my mother after my dad passed, due to the repairs amounting to more than the worth of the vehicle. During our marriage, I did everything that I thought a wife and mother should do. I cooked, cleaned, took care of the children and worked, as well as took care of him. I carted the kids around to more games than you could imagine, running from one practice to another as well as volunteering for the non-profit athletic programs they were involved in. My husband worked alot but he also played alot. There isn't anything that he didn't put me through as a wife. So much that I actually had legal grounds to divorce him. BUT, I'd made the commitment to God and I was going to stick to it through the good, the bad and the ugly. Right now, he wants a divorce and doesn't want to give me a single thing. He just "wants a divorce" according to his attorney. The year he left he made 3x's what I made. I was able to substain due to the fact that I didn't pay any mortgage (as a result I lost the house) and I had a few boarders who paid me a small amount of rent. As of now, I make a little over minimum wage. I now have rent and utilities to pay. I have enough to live off of each month, but there's nothing left to put away. I live paycheck to paycheck. Since I've only been working a short while I put what I can towards my retirement but it's not much. I cannot afford a car so I rely on walking and public transportation. He was in the military and now works for the USPS and has for the last 20 years or so. He has a stable income, security and a decent retirement. He also receives a monthly disability stipend from the VA. His truck payment is more than my rent!!! In order for me to receive what the state laws deem as equitable distribution in the form of his retirement fund and alimony, I will have to fight. He is not willing to voluntarily give me one penny. To fight, I need an attorney. For an attorney, I need money. This is where I'm asking for help. He knows that I don't have any money so I'm quite sure he thinks he will get away with keeping everything for himself. I was going to try to do it on my own but with all of the literature I've read, I don't think I'd have a chance in legally pleading my case. I need professional help. The struggle has been real. My lifestyle had changed quite a bit. From being somewhat comfortable in a 5 bedroom house, nice car to a one bedroom apartment and no car. When I moved I had to get rid of all of those things that we'd accumulated. It was such a rush that I had to give away alot of valuable items. It was a very emotional time, I actually felt like I'd been raped. My poor Son. Addiction is so very ugly!!!! The things I've gone through with him, I wouldn't wish on anybody. His sister had to face their childhood friends and listen to them talk about her brother. He was once her idle and he had turned into an embarrassment. We tried and tried and tried to help him. Then I had to come to the realization that I was enabling him and I had no choice but to let him go and leave him in God's hands. Me and my daughter would have long talks about him and how much we love him. We came to the realization that his addition was way bigger than anything we could handle on our own. My husband sat from afar and told my daughter "I don't know how your mom does it". I do it because he's my son and I love him and I will never leave him. That's how I do it. That's how I've done things for the lasts 2 1/2 years. Because I have to. But, I'm not going to go down without a fight. I am going to fight for my son's sobriety, my daughter's success and for what I deserve in this divorce. Will you please help me? I don't have much time. As a matter of fact I have until September 2nd 2016. Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and God Bless You.