Please, Help Jason and Raquel Have a Voice
Organized by: Evie Conner
When a couple are no longer a couple, it is time to go their own way; however, when children are involved they have no voice. No voice in the decision to divorce, no voice in who they want to live with. Children have no legal voice ...
Our journey began almost five years ago when our son, Jason (Active Duty Air Force), got orders to go overseas for a year. Our grandchildren and their mother moved in with us for the year so the family could save money. It didn't work out that way.
My grandchildren's mom is very creatively talented and she explored her creative ability extensively. Her work was much sought after and she was very happy. The problem was she was spending MUCH more than she was making. For a $25 order, she spent $50+ buying materials. I tried helping her pull her costs into line, but that only caused friction.
For the first part of our son's deployment, the arguments our son and daughter-in-law got more loud and threatening. I could only hear her side of the conversations, but they chilled me to the bone. I used to stay in my room with the door shut – but still, every time they talked, it ended with me hearing her screaming at my son. The day I heard her scream into the phone “I hope you DIE” told me all I needed to know … she wanted them to be done.
Jason’s mid-tour visit, he tried. His wife bounced between “I LOVE YOU” and “I HATE YOU”. At one point, Jason suggested a Trial Separation to decide what they truly want. His wife wasn’t happy about that. She invited my husband and myself to sit down and discuss what was going on. She told us they were getting divorced – I looked over at my son sitting across the room and tears flowed down his face. He tried saying “Separation” but she cut him off … “it’s called divorce”.
This was the day before our oldest grandchild’s birthday. They waited until the day after his birthday to tell the children.
Because Our Home is our Son’s Legal Residence (being active duty military, everywhere is home) and because she was getting an apartment five minutes from us, Jason thought their mother having physical custody would be best.
He worked with his wife and HER attorney to draw up the legal documents. The CHILDREN were the focus, we thought. Shortly after this, it became apparent the CHILDREN meant one thing to their mother … money.
Within a few months we were cut off completely from our grandchildren. After a week of no contact, we went to her apartment to discover she had MOVED. It took some time to discover where she had moved to.
In less than three years’ time she had moved the children THREE times to three different schools. Even though they have Joint Custody, even though they are to co-parent, the ONLY time Jason knows the children have been to the doctor is when he received the bill. He also gets the bill when the children MISS an appointment.
Their schools will not discuss the children with their father – because their mother said NO(?) The only time my husband and I (their grandparents) are allowed to spend time with the children us IF it is in her interest. Which is very rare. I think she feels they are old enough to stay by themselves now. Not sure. She refuses to communicate with us.
This year when Jason got the children for the summer, he discovered his son was on anti-depressants. His children BEG HIM “Please don’t send us back” Jason’s son is named after him. His mother has told my grandson she DETESTS the name Jason and all Jasons’ are dead to her. Even his DOCTORS now refer to him as Jac. His medical bills refer to him as Jac as well.
The personal effects they came with were shoes too small, the only clothes that FIT them were the clothes on them, even though their child support is substantial. The things the children tell us that IS their life now, is bone chilling – BUT – “it is just hearsay” without a Guardian Ad Litem (A voice for my grandchildren)
My son has retained legal services and is aggressively pursuing his case; however with the cost of legal representation and the stereotype against fathers stacked against him he is doing everything he can to protect his children but the fees are crushing.
It is my goal with this plea to raise enough money to get a Guardian Ad Litem for the children and to continue to pay the legal fees to ensure my two oldest grandchildren are being put first and kept SAFE. I seriously fear for their safety.
Please, help my son help his son Jason and daughter Raquel, have a voice. No amount is too small. A Share is Greatly Appreciated. Thank You, Grammy