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PTSD Saxophone

Organized by: Dustin Bowles

Dustin's Photo

EVENT DATE Dec 06, 2015

THE STORY:

Hello WORLD, My name is Dustin Bowles and I currently suffer from sever depression and anxiety from my childhood past for the last 8 years. Over the years of my childhood I was abused physically, mentally, and emotionally. Growing up my parents weren't really there for me and my little sister. With me being the oldest I always got the worst. When I was 15 my father discovered that I was homosexual and things did not go well for me. I was kicked out of my fathers home and forced to live with my mother. When I got there I was so secluded from everyone, I knew no one nor anything about my surroundings. This just made things worst. At first I resorted to hanging out with people who I didn't have much in common with and when I started hanging out with these "friends" I started the use of drugs to help cope with my depression. I had tried marijuana and it was a good pathway for me to escape the feeling of not being "normal". I felt as if I was a part of a group the accepted me and I was considered cool! about a year later my friends introduced several different kinds of pills. At this time my dad was on a mission to gain back custody of me and this put me in a very nervous state. I stated taking pills and one night I overdosed on several different kinds of medicine, I didn't want to live anymore. Well I went to court and my father won the custody battle and I had to return to my fathers home. When I got there I had the ideal of pretending I was no longer a homosexual and it worked for awhile. Well when i was 17 my father caught me talking to guys again and when I graduated high-school he still didn't except me for who i was. He refused to understand who I was and have an open view on trying to except me. I felt as I was an outcast. I moved to Athens Georgia where I currently reside, my mother and her family lives here in Georgia, and things started to get better for me until I realized that I no longer have a father in my life, I didn't know what to do. My depression and anxiety spiked from the thought of never being able to raise a family and have them involved with their grandfather( my dad). I found a job, saved money and got a car and now have my own place to live, but none of these things have seemed to take away the pain of my past. I have mended things with my father but those memories will always be there and it has been a constant struggle trying to cope with these disorders. It has been hard for me to make relationships work and I'm at a point to where I don't want to loose the most important person in my life who excepts me for who I am and makes me feel important once again. When I was a kid I was happy and energetic. I wanted to be a forensic scientist and travel the world, but with these conditions have held me back. Recently I have discovered the relaxation of Jazz music. It makes me feel soothed and relaxed, it makes me feel like I have a purpose in life and it keeps me from having to take my medicine. I want to enroll in music therapy but I need a piece of music equipment and I would love to learn to play the saxophone so that I can treat myself with the joy and passion of jazz music. With the worlds help I know I can overcome these disorders and find purpose in my life once again and be the "normal" person I use to be. Please help me in obtaining a saxophone for I believe it will change my life forever.

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Organized by

Dustin Bowles

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