With my daughter right away I knew something wasn't right. I was crying all the time, I was stressed out and overwhelmed by the simplest things, and I felt so alone. Then one night as I was driving home from my Inlaws house I had a vision of turning my car wheel into oncoming traffic and ending the pain and emptiness I was feeling. I decided to seek help from my OB who prescribed anti depressants 6 weeks postpartum. I fought hard and finally started to feel normal. Then I found out I was expecting with my second. A son to be born January 2015. Things were much different this time. I kept waiting for the emotion drop for the stress for the tears and there wasn't any sign. I thought I wouldn't get it. It started out small. Feelings of disconnect from both my beautiful kids. Numbness when my baby would cry. It quickly escalated when my son turned 4 months old. It got to the point my husband and I had a code word that meant he needed to take the kids now so I could leave or he could. He was leaving work early just to make sure we were all still ok. Thoughts of throwing my baby boy into wall. Smashing him to the floor until the crying stopped, smothering him with a pillow. I finally sought help and was diagnosed with postpartum psychosis. Still fighting that fight I led the climb on 2015. It was healing for me. I am still battling but on the mend. I can't wait to lead 2016 and bring awareness and to help other mothers know they aren't alone in this fight.
Postpartum Progress’ Climb Out of the Darkness® is the world’s largest event raising awareness of maternal mental illnesses like postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety & OCD, postpartum PTSD, postpartum psychosis, bipolar/peripartum onset, and pregnancy depression and anxiety. Climb Out of the Darkness is held on or near the longest day of the year annually to help shine the most light on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. The event features mothers and others across the globe joining together to climb mountains and hike trails to represent their symbolic rise out of the darkness of maternal mental illness and into the light of hope and recovery. We can’t wait for Climb Out of the Darkness 2016, to be held Saturday, June 18th. Mark your calendars! Help us shine the light of hope with our words and our advocacy efforts so that our fellow mothers will receive better information and better treatment, and their new families will get off to the healthy and strong start they deserve. If you have questions or would like to lead or join a Climb or become a Climb sponsor, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.