Ruthie's leap of Faith
Organized by: Ruthie Fahim
Hi!! I'm headed to Bible School! Hopefully.
Thank you so much for considering donating to help me pay for tuition.
SO here's my story:
I was in bad place. It was dark and trying and I was done with everything. I had checked out on life to put it simply. I looked fine on the outside, I went to church, I smiled, I gave the typical "I'm fine/good! :)" to everyone when they asked and I died a little bit more inside every time I did. Even the people I considered to be my closest friends didn't know or realize just how much I was struggling/suffering. I didn't even tell my mom just how bad of a way I was in. And I tell her everything!
But I thought, "If I don't say these things out loud, they're not true.. They’re not really happening." I tried to fix myself, by myself. I didn't even want to give it to God because I thought it was too messy and ugly and bitter and unworthy of His time. Obviously I’m not the best at asking for help.
Oh, how wrong was I?! I let my thoughts and feelings get in the way of giving it all to God. I let my burdens get SOO heavy that I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I put on so many masks that when I looked in the mirror I could hardly recognize the Ruthie I knew and loved so much. Her generosity, happy outlook on life, seeing the good in her surroundings - all replaced by self satisfaction, bitterness and resentment.
Then one day I got the slap in the face that I needed, and it shook me to the core. It happened, and I realized that I needed to remove myself from the situations that I was in. I was excited! I was going to get my life back. A better life, a life once again right with God. But it didn’t happen right away. I was being taught patience and perseverance, something I thought I had learned long before but apparently not. Or, at least not well enough. I know that every situation is different, so maybe it was a different level of learning and understanding that I needed. But one thing I do know for sure is that through these trials my love for, understanding of, and relationship with The Lord had grown and been strengthened.
As this period of transition started, Bible school became the next step.
This is still something very weird for me to say out loud. After high school, I chose not to go to college. Simply because I hate school, studying and everything that goes along with being in school. It’s not for me. So when Bible school was mentioned (by my lovely momma) I was like “Mhm, yeah, ok, sure. Thanks for mentioning it. I might look in to it”, and then quickly put it on a back burner in regards to the plans I was considering for my next move. But God and His ways being higher than my ways and His thoughts being higher than mine had Bible school tugging at my heart until one day during my quiet time I had decided to “challenge” Him in this Bible school decision. And guess who won? Haha yeah. Not me! By the end of that quiet time I felt God saying “Would you just look at the program?! You’re not committing to anything and what could it hurt to look into it.” So I sucked it up and took a look, and that was it. By the end of that sitting “looking into it” I had already filled out a good portion of the application. Go figure.
After all this, I have now been accepted to go to Holsby Bible school in Sweden, and I have started applying for a Swedish residency permit to be able to do this course for the full 9 months. But all of this costs money. Money that I don’t have. With tuition, room, board, costs of travel and visa fees I need around $14,000. I am working as much as I possibly can. But I will also be doing mission stuff this summer and that’s all volunteer work. So, that’s where you all come in.
I need your help to make this next step a reality. As we’ve established, I’m not the best at asking for help but here I am. Asking you to be generous and help me to get to where I need to be. I truly believe that this is what The Lord wants me to be doing over the next year and not knowing where the funds are going to come from is a massive step of faith, but I am believing and trusting that He will provide.
Thank you all again so so much for reading, considering and praying about donating to help send me to Bible school..