Walking for my Miracle Baby and for my Angel Baby
February 16, 2017
BENEFITING: Canadian Tire Jumpstart Charities
EVENT DATE: May 14, 2017
EVENT DATE: MAY 14, 2017
As I begin to write this ... I am already in tears!!!!
I never in my worst nightmares imagined the birth of our boys the way it was in real life. I had a normal healthy pregnancy .... until I didn't!! No one knew there was anything wrong until I started labor at 23 weeks gestation. When I went to the hospital to get myself checked out, I never even thought that having our boys so early was going to be our reality!
I had a week of labor before giving birth to our first born son Jackson at 24 weeks then 3 days later I gave birth to Dylan. Once I gave birth to Jackson he went straight to the NICU but I couldn't go with him. I was on complete bed rest as we were trying to keep Dylan in for as long as possible to give him the absolute best chance of survival. So for 3 long excruciating days I couldn't see my first born baby!! I was so torn between wanting to be with my baby and wanting to stay put for my unborn baby!! Well .. after 3 days Dylan decided it was time to make his appearance into the world.
I knew the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) existed but never did I believe that our babies would start their lives there!! Our boys were so very sick! When I was finally able to go and see my boys it was like nothing I could have ever imagined.
I never seen so many tubes and machines or heard so many alarms ... and so many babies who needed these life saving measures! There were so many isolates with fragile babies and so many nurses, Dr's, and many other medical staff that were detrimental to these babies - mine included.
The first 11 days we spent touching our babies through the isolette, meeting with the medical team to discuss both boys medical concerns, crying and praying for their lives, and trying to wrap our heads around our reality! Our boys were very very sick and their chance of survival was not great. I won't go into all of their medical concerns but they were great and they were many!
On the 11 day we received the worst news any parents could hear - The outcome for Jackson was not good. He suffered one of the worst cases of a bilateral brain bleed that has been seen. We made the decision to give Jackson back to the loving arms of God so he could be free from pain. It was the easiest yet hardest decision we have made in our life.
The next 5 months were spent focusing on Dylan and grieving for Jackson. We went from Foothills NICU, to Alberta Children's Hospital NICU, and then to Rockyview NICU. The days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months. There were MANY ups and downs, many obstacles, many celebrations - the best one being that our little miracle baby was able to come home on Dec 18 after spending 148 days in NICU.
I spent many hours at those hospitals crying, praying, laughing, trying to understand, hoping, grieving, and being a mix of many emotions. The staff at all 3 of the NICU's was more than I could ever have hoped for. The ladies and men who care for the critically ill children day in and day out have a thankless job. There is nothing that could be said or done that would ever be enough to say thank you and give the gratitude for taking care of my very fragile baby!
I am so thankful that we live in a country that has the amazing medical expertise as we do in the NICU's. I am so thankful that we live so close to such facilities that I could be with my babies every day of their lives as well as be close to my support team.
I am forever grateful and thankful for the NICU's and what they provide for so many babies. PLEASE consider donating to this amazing cause. The equipment needed to perform life saving measures for these fragile little ones is paramount to their survival. Any amount will be appreciated.