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Save my Smile, Save my Life.

Organized by: ShoShaunna Nwani

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February 23, 2016

Wow!! The story is really long! Sorry guys and gals! See More


Hello! You all may think I'm crazy, and that this may seem major to me, but it means nothing! Well... Please, sit down and listen to my story. My name is ShoShaunna, I am 28 years old and I live in Houston TX. But born and raised in the beautiful state of Wyoming. I moved to Texas as a chance to, well to save my life.. You see, I was addicted to Crystal Meth. and had begun using it pretty bad, during which time I had met a man (when I was 16) and he was significantly older (12 years to be exact) but he was kind and sweet, and oh so charming. I fell for him instantly. But of course my addiction had a hold of me, and I went back to my ex, who just so happened to be my dealer. Shortly after, a fight abrupted between me and my dealer boyfriend, and a knocked out front tooth was my aftermath. Of course, I was not innocent, and we both were fighting, it's not like he punched me in the mouth or anything.. Anyways, that's another story for another time. Anyways, so of course I called my mom to come get me after the fight, and she did.. And I went to my parents house, but of course my addiction drug me back. Not too long after that, I got a friend request on MySpace from the man I fell for. We started talking, and by this time.. Almost 3 years had passed since we met originally, and I began telling everything that had happened and what I was doing and that is when he told me he was going to take Greyhound up to meet me (as he now lived in Dallas) and in Amarillo, his travel bag was stolen. Containing all of his money, documents (passport, and his Nigerian travel documents) and he had to turn back, which he then sent me the money to buy a bus ticket with. On December 30th 2007 I boarded a Greyhound bus from Casper Wyoming to Dallas TX. I arrived on January 1st 2008 and the New Year in a new place meant a new me. This is where I believe my transformation began. We went to Walmart where I bought a paddle lock and some "supplies" when we got back to our apartment. I installed the paddle lock on the bedroom door. I kept the key, as I knew it would be tough for him to resist my begging to get out as the withdrawal had its way with me, and I couldn't let myself out if I had the key with me. Anyways, we set up the room. With food, and water, etc. and I told him.. I want you to lock me in here, and no matter WHAT I say, DO NOT LET ME OUT FOR ONE WEEK! That was the most agonizing week of my life. I stayed in that room and went through the Meth withdrawals alone. The sickness, the vomiting, the night sweats, the terrifying hallucinations.. All of it by myself, and on the 8th day, I came out 100% clean and sober and NEVER EVER TOUCHED IT AGAIN!! It has now been 8 years, and I am still clean and sober to this day! Even though I was clean, this is where my trouble began.. The pain! Oh my god just thinking about all of the pain I went through makes me shiver. The Meth had killed my teeth. Every.. Single.. One.. and they began slowly rotting out of my skull, with the roots still attached to my jaw bones.. One nerve at a time, the tooth broke off at the gum line. The pain was so unbearable. I cried so much, I was taking as much as 30 Tylenol PM at one time, (yes 30) and was constantly overdosing, but continued to take them because when they did work, i would finally be able to sleep. I prayed to God to please, just let me come home.. Don't wake me up in the morning. Every single morning I woke up I cried.. At age 25 I really believed I was going to die. I truly truly believed it. As a matter of fact, I hoped for it!! Because I just couldn't take the pain any more. Yes, suicide crossed my mind, often.. But I knew how many people it would hurt, and how many others it would devasate.. So I couldn't do it! How could I ever rest in peace knowing I caused that much pain to the ones I love. So I just waited for the infection to take its toll and end my life. I even had my last will and testament written out, along with individual letters to family and friends, saying my final good byes. Trying to explain.. No, no 25 year old person should have to go through that no matter the mistakes they made! (sorry, that made me cry, I have said this to anyone). I then found God, who gave me the strength to do something about it. I had dropped out of high school my junior year, so I went back and got my high school diploma online, and was registered in a medical trade school 2 months later. I went to school from March 2010 to July 2011, graduating as a Registered Medical Assistant. I was so proud, so motivated. Until I went to my second job interview, where the employer literally laughed in my face when I showed him my degree from Westwood College. Yes... Westwood College. I had gotten scammed out of all that tuition money 23k+ and was still left with nothing. Mind you, I was still suffering from the constant decay of my teeth, being unable to eat, sleep, drink anything to hot, or too cold. Or throwing up what I did just eat, so not eating at all.. The entire time I was going to school. My grandparents found out what had happened at Westwood College, and took out a care credit, giving it to me to pay a surgical dentist to surgically remove all of my teeth. I went in early in the morning, they put me under, I woke up (what seemed like instantly) and they had removed all of my teeth and roots out, and I had stitches galore. My wonderful husband (who has stood beside me through all of this) drove me home, and that very night I was eating. And I didn't stop for quite awhile!!! ;) But I was hungry!!! Anyways.. My gums healed up, and the pain is 100% gone, which IS the most important thing!!!!!! But, I am still not able to be myself, I am still not able to smile.. I hate hate HATE pictures because I ALWAYS think you can tell by looking at me that I don't have teeth. I don't have the confidence to apply for a GOOD job, Im afraid and so uncomfortable eating in public, I just feel so.. Broken! I have tried, my husband and I have tried.. My family tried.. And my grandparents have done all they can. Honestly.. I can get a good pair of dentures, that look real for about $2,000-2,500, and I'm not trying to be greedy, it's just my grandparent aren't doing so well and I would really like to be able to give them the rest of the money to help them out for all they have done for me. They truly deserve it! I have fallen to what seems to be my last resort, swallowing my pride (which anyone who knows me, knows how hard that is) and am asking for help. Please. If you can, donate whatever you can to help me start my life anew, with a much brighter future. And please, help give a little to my Grandparents who undoubtedly saved my life. Thank you so much! God Bless!!! P.S. I am sorry this is sooooo long, but it told me to tell the whole story in case one person actually reads it, and believe you me, I did shave off a lot to make it shorter.. Lol!)


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ShoShaunna Nwani

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