Self Fighting - Short Film
Organized by: Diaa Mahmoud
I am starting this fundraiser to make my own short film about occupied minds and self fighting, and I am showing some of script qoutes to you: "Two years ago my dream was to become a famous artists, but since then I'm sticking in the same room trying to make such a beautiful thing but it's still sticking in my head and it's not going out despite my efforts to make it happens, and my mind is saying no way to come out! Ooh before I forget, and as its look that thing that I'm talking about is a paint but my occupied mind refuses to help me to paint the masterpiece that I dream in, … Oh my! There's endless thinking and endless thoughts but my brain is struggling to mix them to get the idea out on the white sheets, you have to struggle in life but its two years, sometimes I started to think about leaving this dream and go out to see people and make something new, something that could help me to not dying at this room, because I found something in myself telling me that I'm wrong and I need to move on leaving my dream behind,… I'm sure that you have thought the same way in your life, really it's killing . But why, why I should leave my dream, the everything that I wanted in my life. And then I ask myself is life sucks and everything about dreams is bullshit ?!, yes, this is almost every minute question that I asked myself about, and the fear from the answer that could be "I'm a failure" is tracking me also in every minute. I knew in myself that I have it and I can do it, but … I couldn’t, I couldn't do anything that I thought I'm capable to do, because that f**ing occupied mid couldn't mix the ideas and get them out as one idea, yea, that f**ing mind is mine, it's telling me that I'm a genius and that I have nothing to do in my life at the same time! … imagine that! And every time I want to figure it out and think that the idea is going out I start thinking about the life, about nature and joy, about technology and the stuff, then I recognize that no idea would go out at this time, it's unbelievable and painful to feel that, it's like feeling your favorite bird fleeing from your hands and you just couldn't move to catch it again, and this time the desperation will start to penetrate in your mind and you feel paralyzed. But you need to be strong enough to skip this pain and desperation to avoid killing your dream, because if you aren't you will fail and never forgive yourself, it's like a scarf in the heart you can't erase it and will always suffer from it. And if you fail you didn't deserve to dream, neither to live your dreams life, and that's why you can't leave you dream and you should be strong enough to succeed, you need to be alive, because dreams needs brave and powerful people not cowards, so, you need to fight your mind, yourself, your everything in life to succeed, and that's what I'm doing. I committed to do what I want and I will do, I'm fighting and still, and I will be the one that aI dreamed about years and years, that f**ing paint should be done, I will clear my head only for the paint and I should paint it inside before getting it out on this while sheet, it’s what I should do and what I will do even if it costs me my life, because dreams and life for people who dare the realty to make the impossible doable."