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Single Mom Needs Assistance

Organized by: Daniel Courtney

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This request is being written as a joint effort of friends and family to assist our friend/family member in her journey as a single parent. She was approached by family and friends to apply online for financial donations. She declined because she did not want her four girls to be subjected to any public humiliation that might result from displaying their photographs or names. Therefore, she remains anonymous but this request is written with her permission. This family needs your help. We love this young mother and her beautiful daughters so much that we are putting in a plea for your assistance.
Let me tell you about them. The mother is thirty six years old and has ten year old twin daughters, a fourteen year old daughter, and a nineteen year old daughter. She is in severe debt due to the situation with her ex-husband and has exhausted all of her resources.
Her journey began when she discovered that her verbally and emotionally abusive husband was engaging in inappropriate activities with other women. Shortly after, while she was trying to work things out for the benefit of the children, her husband was in a motorcycle accident and was severely injured. He had no insurance to cover medical bills or nursing care. She made a decision to bring her husband home, hoping that this horrible accident would be what would help her husband to see all the beauty his family possessed … to see how truly blessed he was. She hoped that by providing him with the care he was unable to receive from home health care nurses he would find the appreciation and love for his family she had so deeply desired. She wanted to bring him home so he could recover with his wife and four daughters, who loved him so much. She felt it would provide a chance at saving their marriage and she didn't want to turn her back on it. At this point she was forced to abandon her successful business at a local retail center in order to take care of him.
For a year she provided the best of care for her husband (which included, but was not limited to, creating sterile environments, emptying a bedside potty, cleaning pin sites due to an external fixation device, giving sponge baths, providing wheelchair assistance, traveling to and from doctors appointments, and picking up prescriptions). She was also taking care of 4 young girls in 3 different schools including the 2 year old twins which were in preschool. She was busy preparing all meals, running all errands, keeping up with the housework and trying to keep her business afloat from home. Then she discovered, only after being back on his feet for a few days that he had made dinner arrangements with another woman. It seemed impossible for her to believe that after providing such loving care for such a long recovery and by forgiving all the wrong doings and sacrificing everything she had that he could hurt her and their family again.
The couple separated for a year and during that time his drinking became worse. He began to abuse cocaine and other drugs he obtained illegally. He informed her that during this time of separation he had abused his prescription narcotics, while recovering, by crushing them up and snorting them off their bathroom counter. It seemed her husband finally hit the bottom and made the decision to admit himself into a rehabilitation center. His wife drove him there. She told him she would stand by his side and give their family yet another shot if he would see this through. After the husband's completion of the program at the rehab center she allowed him to return home. It was only a month before he began to drink again. Things spiraled out of control quickly and turned into a nightmare that consisted of verbal abuse, many long nights wondering where her husband was (if he was even coming home) if he was okay and what state of mind he would be in every afternoon when he arrived home from work. Many days he would leave straight from work to go to bars, then come home and drink more. He spoke down to her in front of their children; he tried to spank the kids and became extremely paranoid thinking everyone was out to get him. It became too much for her to bear. She was realizing what it was doing to their girls. It was heart breaking. The young girls would often end up in altercations with him as a result of feeling the need to defend their mother.
After many attempts in that year and half to save her family, save her husband from his disease and save her marriage the two separated for good. After many promises from the husband that he would never turn his back on them, never leave them hungry, without a home, or the things that they would need he has yet to honor any of them.
He served this devoted mother with papers, after retaining the services of a local attorney. He knew she didn't have the funds to obtain one. He tried to strong arm her into a custody agreement that she knew would be disastrous for her girls. Since then, he had all of the utilities in the house disconnected forcing her and the girls to leave the only home they had ever known. They ended up living here and there with friends and family, squeezing in where they could while trying to save up enough money to return home. He also vindictively and secretly stopped making house payments, which put the house four months behind in house payments. He had her car towed for the intent and purpose of selling it and keeping the money for him. He left her without transportation and no way to get her girls back and forth to school, no way to go grocery shopping or to get to a hospital if there so happened to be a medical emergency. None of this was of any concern to him. Luckily a close friend loaned her a truck to ensure she could carry on as best she could.
Things continued to escalate. She's lost four online businesses due to the cutting off of her resources. While he lavishes support to his girlfriend’s daughter, he has cut his own daughters off completely … financially as well as emotionally. During this time he pulled a knife on one of the dear family friends (n front of his young boys).
As a result of this he faced an “assault with a deadly weapon charge”. This mother’s daughters have been humiliated and embarrassed by public displays of their dad’s lack of control. If any of the family needs to have health care, this mother often puts off going to a doctor or clinic because he also terminated their health insurance.
Regardless of the fact that this case is in ongoing litigation in family court … going on two and a half years now, he remains completely incompliant. Her financial well being has diminished to a desperate level because this case is tied up in court … while he pays no support and continues to abandon his family.
At this point she is in danger of losing her house. In fact, if she cannot get some help, that is exactly what will happen. Her family and friends have exhausted their financial resources. As much as they would give anything they could to help her, they have no more to give. Her ex-husband, however, lives a lavish lifestyle with a beach condo, private boat and boat slip, while entertaining friends with champagne brunches and expensive dinners. While the court system tries its best to protect her and attempts to enforce court appointed child support, her financial resources are depleted. The court system is overloaded and it has been a long, long road to resolution. She has full custody of her daughters with no support from him or his family and they have limited visitation with their dad due to his heavy drug and alcohol addiction.
For thirteen years she has been a stay at home mom and has had several lucrative online businesses, only to have the money she earned stolen from her account by her ex-husband, her computer access shut down by her ex-husband, or the money eaten away by court costs. She currently has an online business that she has created in the area of children’s clothing. This mom is determined and dedicated to providing for her children. However, when finances are depleted, there is only so much more that can be done.
We are aware that this may be a pretty common occurrence in today’s society … given that there are so many single mothers. However, we would be amiss if we didn’t do everything we can to help this mother not lose her home. She is our sister, daughter, and friend. We love her. Therefore, if you can find it in your heart to help, we can’t express how grateful we would be. If you need specific details, please contact us. We can verify her need. Even if everyone who reads this gives a small amount, it will add up and possibly save this one family home. Thank you so much for taking time to read this and respond.


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Daniel Courtney

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