FIBROMYALGIA sucks the life out of YOU!!!
Please walk with me or donate. If not for yourself, for a loved one and for the millions out there that have been afflicted with this monster.
In 2013 my life completely changed. Fibromyalgia took over. For 4 years I was in a dark place living in constant pain and not knowing what was wrong with me. I spiraled into deep depression and developed anxiety and panic attacks. Test after test after test and my doctors did not know what was wrong with me. I thought I was going crazy. I felt useless, frustrated, but most of all alone. I had lost my independence, and my zest for life. So far there has been no medication or therapy that has truly helped me. Most medications only turn me into a zombie and I refuse to be drugged up.
It is so hard to explain what & how I feel day in day out not knowing how I will feel when I wake up. Afraid to make plans or start something. It's like living in limbo. Will I have to stay in bed all day today? Will I need help getting out of bed, out of a chair, to take off my shoes, or to even comb my hair? How do I choose between no pain or sharing moments with my family when I know I will be in bed in pain after? How do I tell my granddaughter not to hug me because some days just the slightest touch causes severe pain? Can you imagine a life where you constantly forget what you did 10 minutes ago or where you are going while driving? A life where you have to decide on being in pain or drugged up just to be able to somewhat enjoy life. This monster does not only take over your body, but your mind as well. I became full of guilt and resentment for not being able to work and be financially independant and contribute to my households finances. It slowly eats away at your pride and self-respect as a person.
Everyday is a struggle. Everyday I smile, but deep down inside I am crying. Crying because my body is exhausted from fatigue and pain and I see no medical hope for to fight this monster. Crying because there was so much more I still wanted to do, to accomplish in life. Last year I had to start using a cane and that was my wake up call. I refused to be held hostage by this monster any longer and decided to fight. This is not how I saw my life at the age of 57, but I now wipe my tears and face the reality that this will be with me for the rest of my life. My will to fight this monster motivates me to push forward and to bring awareness on this terrible disease. My fight has only just begun!
We are invisible chronic pain sufferers because we do not look sick. Our disease needs to be put in the front burner. Research must continue. I pray science can truly find the right medications, treatment, and cure soon. Your donation towards Fibromyalgia research will be greatly appreciated.