I am very stressed out at the moment.
I can't believe I actually sold a physical product online just so I can gamble it all away.
My gambling addiction started out as strictly for fun. I never really played that much, but I was winning small amounts, and it felt awesome. I felt awesome when I had an 18 and the dealer had a 17. I felt awesome when I rolled high on 50/50 chance. It was all merely fun and games.
So then months went by, I played every now and then. But then a thought came to my mind.
If I keep winning with small amounts, why not deposit more and win even more?
This is where it took a turn for the worse. I lost my first big bet of $50 but I merely shrugged it off.
This is now in the past few days.
I decided to sell an item worth $300 on eBay.
I bet all of it.
And I lost all of it within 12 hours.
I couldn't even begin to think about how terrible I was feeling. I was so scared and alone.
I was depressed and thought about suicide. The window is right there. A fall from this height could instantly kill me.
But I was too weak to do it. I couldn't harness the strength to do so.
I knew I had fucked up.
I decided to contact the site admin and asked them to block my account from being able to deposit. I am unable to deposit a single penny.
This is where I ask YOU, Reddit, to help me.
Can you donate a single dollar? Or if you wish, even $5? I really need to recover what I lost, and I need your help.
And with this bone fracture, I'm even more screwed. I have a cast on my left arm and am typing with my right hand, but how am I going to pay the medical bill?
If you wish to help me, I would very much appreciate it. Even to just talk to me, I appreciate it. I really need help. I can however say that I am done betting. It feels terrible when you lose. No one should have to feel what I'm feeling.
If you wish to donate via PayPal, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you very very much for reading this.
Never gamble what you aren't willing to lose. I genuinely wish I had heard that before.