The OCD Walk
May 19, 2017
Imagine that your mind got stuck
on a certain thought or image…
Then this thought or image got replayed in your mind
no matter what you did…
With this thought your brain's alarm system would turn on causing panic and anxiety throughout your body. Your heart starts racing, you start sweating, and your vision starts to blur.
That's just a second of how's its like living with OCD. This panic brings feelings of hopelessness; but,
TOGETHER WE CAN BRING AWARENESS THAT HEALERS WILL COME
This is my story of how Healers came to my path:
While I was in med school, I developed very severe OCD to the point that I couldn't function anymore...couldn’t drive, couldn't eat, couldn’t sleep. It was all so scary I really thought it would never end. But life has a tricky way of doing things. Facing mental illness was one of the toughest things I’ve faced but now I realize how beautiful those moments were.
While I went through those dark days I discovered how strong my dad, one of my biggest supporters, could be. Day in and day out my parents were on call taking care of me from miles away. At the touch of a button they would answer their phones whenever I was having an OCD crisis. Fear would strike at 2 in the morning and my mom and/or dad would hop on a greyhound and help come help me cope.
In January of this year I made a strong recovery, got a job, a car, and a house. Once everything was fine, God decided that it was now time to let my dad rest and live in peace among other great souls. In April, my dad past away and somehow I put on my knight armor and sword and this time it was up to me to fight this battle for my dad. My dad trained me to be strong and it was now a test to see how much I had grown. I stepped into the frontline and made sure my dad would have a beautiful funeral and would be able to rest in peace.
I will continue missing him all my life, but I know that in the future if any battle comes along me and my dad will again unite and put on our armors. I know he isn’t here in person, but the way he trained me to fight lives on.
While sometimes it seems like the hard times will never end just remember this passage from one of my favorite authors, Melody Beattie.
“The people, the ideas, the resources you need to heal will come. They’ll appear on your path. Sometimes you’ll think it’s almost magical. Sometimes you’ll resist, saying, That can’t be right. It’s too easy. But your healers will come when you need them, when you’re ready.
You can trust the universe to send healers to you, but also trust yourself. Some of the healers and resources you encounter may not be right for you. Trust yourself to know whats right. And remember, healers aren’t your source of power, they merely assist you in claiming your power. They come to help, to bring their gifts to you so that you can find yours.
Just as your healers will come to you, the people you are to bring healing to will appear on your path when its right. Trust yourself to make decisions regarding those with whom you share your gifts. Your heart will guide you if you listen.
Let yourself receive the healing you need. Let yourself share your healing gifts with others. Find the balance thats right for you. Trust yourself and the wisdom of your body, mind, and heart about what feels right, who feels right, and when it works for you.”